tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45351497256598139832024-02-01T20:46:12.791-08:00CartwheelsdownthehallHolly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.comBlogger412125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-13904767104546101152016-11-07T17:01:00.000-08:002016-11-07T17:01:09.227-08:00My Election Day Survival Plan <span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Friend. Do you have an ELECTION DAY SURVIVAL PLAN? Or...E.D.S.P.?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">IF NOT, YOU SHOULD!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I remember <a href="http://ann lamott and george bush">Ann Lamott</a> wrote one time that after George W. Bush got elected, she stayed in bed for 3 days and cried. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">At first, I was like..."Really, Ann? Really?" </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And then we hit 2016 and encountered THIS NONSENSE. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In 2012, I remember saying I just wanted a candidate I could be EXCITED about. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Isn't that cute? I wanted to be EXCITED!!! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">NOW...I would just settle for someone who doesn't make me want to lose my lunch. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">With that being said...we need a plan for survival, friends. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Here is the plan. I think the key is to stay busy here, guys. BUSY. BUSY doing anything other than weeping on the couch and watching CNN. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> I'm going to vote early in the day. If I put it off, I'll just spend every second dreading the whole process. Next up, we're going to hit the park. On the way home, we're going to spring for some bagels, THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I mean...bagels with cream cheese never killed anyone. AM I RIGHT?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Next up? A trip to our local <a href="http://freshthyme.com/">Fresh Thyme</a> for some of their gorgeous $5 flowers. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Necessary. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> After park + bagels + flowers, it will probably be time for Ella's nap and my adult responsibilities. This is where it gets tricky here, guys. VERY TRICKY. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Social Media..."What do the polls say?" Anxiety...couch...blanket... obsessing over ABC News...the temptation is STRONG.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> This is where Rory & Lorelai Gilmore come in. Hand to heart, you have my word that I'ma watch Gilmore Girls and CLEAN THIS HERE HOUSE because I do not want this place to be a disaster when this election is over and the Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse arrive. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Please. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> After that...who knows. I need to get a work out in. Something soothing like yoga...or banging my head against the wall over and over and over again. ;)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>I feel like no social media + productivity + an abundance of self-care is really the key to surviving this election. </b> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Who's with me? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Over the weekend, I went to Kroger and procured supplies. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">They are as follows:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One pack of chocolate chip break-n-bake cookies</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Sally-Hansen-Miracle-Polish-Terra-Coppa/dp/B00Y43KEC8/ref=sr_1_1_s_it?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qid=1478399780&sr=1-1&keywords=sally%2Bhansen%2Bmiracle%2Bgel%2Bterra%2Bcoppa&th=1">Sally Hansen Miracle Gel nail polish</a> in Terra- Coppa, thank you very much.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Natural Bliss Creamer (Vanilla)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Decaf K-cups (FOR OBVIOUS REASONS)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I also have a gift certificate for Marco's Pizza that's been burning a hole in my pocket. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One should not be expected to cook dinner as the world is coming to an end. I mean...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Honorable Mentions include a long, hot shower and my favorite marshmallow candle. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <i> All joking aside, it really is an honor and a privilege to vote in this country. Many men (and women, especially) are not afforded the same luxury. I'm doing the best I can to tie up some loose ends as far as researching candidates and issues before The Big Day. I just know I'll kind of obsess and pace the floors if I don't have a plan for how I'm going to spend my time. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i> Also, if YOU'RE "really excited" about a candidate, I'm seriously so happy for you and honestly, a little jealous. </i></span><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I just couldn't get there this year.</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Ok. I'll see you on the other side. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Love and extra cream cheese,</span><br />
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<br />Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-32329940411337054892016-10-31T18:59:00.000-07:002016-10-31T18:59:40.771-07:00All Sorrows' Eve<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3_JrlbjtufJklWnxUT4DVYIeZVe8LqRDSmVdJHf6c-vD0x6nM8ju9Ya0c6IDsIM8jQaH4P_t_D9xdtE2pDgPAcbd0x8RFGf-pUDq7zN6NbwbXTmYn2ciG2t6d-XhnPRnqSsNuLjap4eU/s1600/Screen+Shot+2016-10-25+at+8.45.19+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="478" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3_JrlbjtufJklWnxUT4DVYIeZVe8LqRDSmVdJHf6c-vD0x6nM8ju9Ya0c6IDsIM8jQaH4P_t_D9xdtE2pDgPAcbd0x8RFGf-pUDq7zN6NbwbXTmYn2ciG2t6d-XhnPRnqSsNuLjap4eU/s640/Screen+Shot+2016-10-25+at+8.45.19+PM.png" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> We are back from trunk-or-treating, and I am getting ready to hunker down with a PSL and some Gilmore Girls on Netflix. Guilt-free cause wrangling a <strike>baby</strike> toddler into a costume and then trying to photograph said toddler ain't NO JOKE. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> The Lord has told me, on multiple occasions, that users of the internet are now my new "people." Community, if you will. So with that being said, here are my late-night-after-trick-or-treating- thoughts. OH JOY! ;) </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> First of all...I am loving LOVING all these sweet, adorable pumpkin-themed pregnancy announcements. April/March 2017. Spring babies. Please. Keep them coming. I'm also super "jelly" over how gorgeous and sweet and scrumptious you all are. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Mamas- you are doing good work. Just hold on. I hope you don't throw up ALL your candy. Maybe only the red starbursts...cause they're gross. I pray you keep the Reese's. ;) </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; white-space: pre-wrap;">Secondly. So so so many of you have posted about how difficult this time of year is for you. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">Infertility. Divorce. Lost loved ones. </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">You will go to bed tonight, and you will look online at costumes on clearance for babies you fear you'll never have. I know because I've been there. </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; white-space: pre-wrap;">You make a secret stash of your "missing person's" favorite candy and then stop yourself, remembering they aren't here to eat it. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">Maybe you're single. Again. </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">Maybe this year, your kids are too old to trick or treat, and that's hit you surprisingly hard. You're grateful (as everyone so graciously reminds you YOU "SHOULD BE")</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">...but you're sad. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">You're lonely. </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">I hate to sound </span></span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">pretentious...like..."Oh...guys...aren't I just sooooo compassionate." </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">BUT...motherhood and our 2 year stint with infertility has made me more vulnerable and aware of people's pain than I could have ever imagined. In that way, I'm grateful for the trial. It has helped me see the world outside myself. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"> Grief hits us in weird places. When we were trying to conceive...I remember one particular Easter being very, very hard. Even harder than Mother's Day...which I know sounds weird. I couldn't stand all the bunny pictures...chubby baby hands in lace trimmed gloves. Wide brimmed hats. I wanted to punch absolutely everyone. I prayed for God to break Facebook forever. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"> With all that being said....my broken, lost and lonely friends. I see you, and I hear you and I just love you so much. I will go to bed praying hard for you all tonight. Many of you, I do not know by name, but aren't you glad The Lord does? Tomorrow, Halloween will be over. We will start a new month, and you will brush your teeth and drink your coffee (in that order...or no?) and you will go boldly down that path laid out for you. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">Friend. You made it. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-18314354532022804792016-10-26T04:27:00.000-07:002016-10-26T04:29:12.762-07:00Lunch Break Links <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Anyone else browse the internet on their lunch break? Ella usually eats before I do. She's usually pretty patient in her high chair and content to just hang out for a bit ((read: and rub food in her hair...haha))) Also...she is the easiest, most patient, sweetest <strike>baby </strike>toddler ever. Have I mentioned that? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">ANYWAY...I usually use my own "lunch break" to watch a bit of a Netflix show or just mindlessly browse the internet. I thought it might be fun to share a few sites I've been loving lately. If you're looking for a way to entertain yourself on your lunch break, you've come to the right place. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Meg Fee wrote <a href="http://www.megfee.com/megfee/2016/8/2/the-closet-cleanse" target="_blank">a great post</a> about organizing her closet. It makes me want to throw 99% of what I own in the garbage -ha.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Little Coffee Fox is a super cute organizational blog I discovered via Pinterest. So far, my favorite post is</span><a href="http://littlecoffeefox.com/2016/10/08/memories-page-preserve-moments/" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;" target="_blank"> this one </a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">about preserving memories in your bullet journal. I haven't even started a bullet journal...but it sounds equally overwhelming and fun. I can totally see myself diving into post after post on Pinterest and Youtube at like...2 o'clock in the morning. Ha.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BL9b9XYghry/?taken-by=little_coffee_fox" target="_blank">via </a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2016/10/20/nyregion/nyc-kids.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur&_r=0" target="_blank">This is a really cool article</a> about kids growing up in New York City. It has a little bit of a "Day in the life" format. As somewhat of a suburban/ "country" girl, I'm fascinated by how people spend their day-to-day lives in larger cities. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> <a href="http://onelittleproject.com/how-to-make-crystal-stars/" target="_blank">This blog post</a> about making crystalized stars. I've already been thinking about what we can put on our Christmas tree that won't either be a "choke-able" or break easily. I think these would be super cute, easy and fun! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">WEDNESDAY, OVER AND OUT! </span></div>
<br />Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-83183311352560548082016-10-19T08:40:00.002-07:002016-10-19T08:40:36.344-07:007 Tips for Surviving your baby's Vaccinations <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>I know this can be a controversial subject. Before we begin, I just wanted to let you know <b>this is a post for people who believe in the importance of vaccinations.</b> In our family, we vaccinate. Period. Please do not use this as a platform to try to sway readers to think otherwise. If vaccinations aren't your thing...feel free to <b>quietly</b> move on. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>K. Thanks. Love you. Bye.</i> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> New mamas, unite! Some of the best blogging advice I've ever received came from Kate at <a href="http://www.thesmallthingsblog.com/" style="font-size: 16px;" target="_blank">The Small Things</a> blog when I heard her speak at the Influence Conference. Her blog became wildly popular via Pinterest when she felt she was simply teaching people how to properly curl their hair. <b style="font-size: 16px;"><i>Never assume that people know the basics.</i></b> I know a doctor's appointment may seem pretty cut and dry, but here's a list of things I wish I would have known before I braved Ella's first few appointments.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px;"><b>1. Dress your baby in something comfortable and easy to remove / put back on</b>. She's going to get poked in her adorable, chubby little thighs. Recently, I put Ella in stretchy pants and a long sleeved t-shirt. I seriously considered a zip-up sleeper. Your baby is probably going to be undressed for most of the appointment, anyway. No one cares as long as s/he is clean and adorable (the cuteness is just a given, right?). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>2.</b> ((If your child is not yet walking)) <b>Take your car seat.</b> For her 6 month appointment, I contemplated just bringing Ella in without her carseat because she had such good head control. She's sitting up on her own now, so it's cute and fun to just carry her along. She looks so proud of herself. However, she fell asleep on the way, so I ended up bringing her into the office still asleep in her seat. I'm really glad I brought the seat with us. I needed the extra hands for my wallet, insurance card, etc. The car seat also made a good "catch all" for her pacifier, clothes, and other personal items...which leads me to my next tip. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-size: 16px;">3</b>. <b style="font-size: 16px;">Begin gathering your things </b><b style="font-size: 16px;">as the appointment progresses</b> - don't wait to pack up until after your baby has had her shots The first time Ella had her shots, I made the mistake of waiting to pack up until the very end. Poor Ella was half naked and SCREAMING while I gathered alllll our belongings (paperwork, shot records, toys). It was a mess. You don't want to pack up while someone is in the room with you because that might seem rude, but as they float in and out (as nurses and doctors usually do), use that as an opportunity to begin gathering small things like your phone, keys, jacket and paperwork. This will save you valuable time in the end. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>4. Promise yourself a treat.</b> This one needs no explanation. I always get Starbucks on the way home. Mama needs a coffee drink! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>5. Find emotional support-</b> Tim and my mom usually get several texts and phone calls before, during, and after her appointments (haha). Read: SOMEONE SAVE ME WHY IS THIS HAPPENING WHAT HAVE I DONE TO OUR BABY!?!?!?! You get the gist. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>6. Wear an over-sized cardigan (for newborns / weather permitting)</b> and </span>bring a blanket for older babies. Ella was a fall baby. For her first few appointments, I would wear a huge cardigan and wrap her up in it (while still wearing it). This is one of my top suggestions for new moms- even at home. Ella loved to be wrapped up like that. Now I'm having flashbacks of my teeny, floppy baby. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-size: 16px;">7. Bring a comfort object</b> (it will help you more than your baby...haha). For one appointment, I brought <a href="http://www.jellycat.com/us/bashful-cream-bunny-bas3bc/" target="_blank">this little, white rabbit</a> along, and I think it helped us both. It was nice to plunk her down in her little seat while she was hiccuping and crying and trying to be so brave with her little arm around her friend. Heartbreakingly cute. (For the record, I totally comforted her first, obviously, but she was still sad when I put her down. I don't know about anyone else, but I just wanted to get her out of there into the comfort and movement of the car)! We are trying to start weaning her off her pacifier during the day. I didn't even think to bring one to her last (traumatic) 12 month appointment (2 shots and a blood draw). In that moment, I would have paid $500 for a Binky. No joke. Bring the nuk. Grab the bunny. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Hugs to you. You are doing good work, mamas. Good-bye, Good Luck, and get Starbucks. </span></div>
Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-29087659969472325192016-10-15T08:38:00.000-07:002016-10-15T08:38:58.506-07:00September Goal Update <span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Last month, I posted <a href="http://www.cartwheelsdownthehall.com/2016/09/blog-tember-day-2-hashtag-goals.html" target="_blank">a list of goals</a> for September. Here's a little update! Oh, Happy Day! </span><br />
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<b style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><strike>1. Re-organize our finances-</strike></b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> This one is still a work in progress, but I did manage to nail down exactly what we owe on two of our smallest loans and make my own "payment plan." I should have them both paid off within six months so...yay...? I even made a little bar graph and everything. Ha. It's the little things...I'm giving myself an A on this one.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><strike><b>2. Weed, mulch and plant mums</b>-</strike> Again, a work in progress (Tim is in the process of building me some flower boxes), but for the most part, we're finished. If you want to get technical about it, I didn't finish this until October, but...we do currently have mums and mulch IN THE YARD. It counts. A+ cause weeding is hard.</span><br />
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<b style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">3. Finish Make Things Happen + <strike>1 More book-</strike> </b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm giving myself a C+ I definitely could have worked... HOWEVER, I read a book about health and wellness (might share the title later, it was a life-changing book for sure, and I feel like the title alone doesn't do it justice). Reading it involved a lot of new recipes, meal planning and time on Pinterest (of course), so I felt like that cut into my reading time, a bit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>3a. Finish my Powersheets</b>- Did.not.happen. Next month...?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>4. Buy New Bras-</b> I'm giving myself a "free pass" on this one. In hindsight, it was sort of silly to make this my goal for this particular month. Up until the end of September I was still breastfeeding Ella. I've also met a few weight loss goals since mid-September so, my body is bound to change over time. I'm going to try to see how things pan out before I go shopping. This may not be something I commit to until November or December. I'd hate to change sizes right after I make my purchases. You just never know.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><strike>5. Ella/ Mommy fun time-</strike></b> This one went really well. During the month of September, I wanted to be intentional about getting out of the house with Ella...especially now that she's getting older and interacting more with the world around her. With the help of my new MOPS group, we made a trip to Totter's Otterville which is basically a giant indoor play land for kids. It was lots of fun. We also went to the park twice. I recently started taking her little, pink "walk-about" for walks down our long driveway now that the weather has gotten super mild (read: gorgeous) instead of miserably hot. It's one of my favorite things to do with her. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>6. Write our will-</b> Ugh. No. This is one of those things where I have no clue where to start, so I just keep putting it off. Advice is welcome.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> For October, I'm going to "cheat" and just carry over my unfinished goals to this month. That brings me back to my teaching days...whenever we'd have an unexpected snow delay, fire drill or assembly, I'd just have to draw BIG ARROWS all over my lesson plans for the week. October is one of my favorite months so...you'll hear no complaints from me! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Love and don't drink from the water table, </span><br />
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<br />Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-8313166010411066882016-09-28T05:11:00.000-07:002016-09-28T05:16:31.139-07:00Blog-Tember: The Year in Five Pictures <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today, as part of <a href="http://www.braveloveblog.com/" target="_blank">Bailey's Blogtember Challenge</a>, I'm posting Five pictures that illustrate my life so far this year. This was a fun, little project, but it was so hard to pick just five! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> This one has no particular "significance" other than it has Noel in it, and I feel like she doesn't make the blog nearly as much as Scarlett does. This one reminds me so much of "mom life." Ella and I took Noel to the vet a few months ago (just getting a second opinion on a 'cough' she's developed)...one of many, many errands I've run with a baby this year. It complicates things sometimes, but I wouldn't have it any other way. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Oh boy. We've tackled a lot of house projects this year (rather TIM has). He built a gorgeous mantle for our living room to replace our wood stove. (I'll have to post more recent pictures later). He also put down new bathroom tile and did some serious work on our house's exterior. No rest for the weary!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> I snapped this one on the way home from my birthday dinner in April. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> I would follow these two anywhere. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Whoa, man. Sleep Regression? Teething? For a few weeks (months?), Ella quit sleeping through the night. It was pretty hairy there for a while, but we survived. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So...I have a toddler now, guys. She is very uh...should we say..."hands on?" Haha...Ella Young, Carry us out! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Love and does dirt count as "iron"?</span><br />
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Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-46926983287703589892016-09-10T07:11:00.000-07:002016-09-10T07:18:00.240-07:00Blog-Tember- Day 10 A day in the life <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> I have always thought it would be fun to do one of these posts. A "reality TV junkie" at heart, I love having a glimpse into the people's lives. Here's what a (somewhat) typical day looks like at our house. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This was how we spent our day last Wednesday. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Here are a few disclaimers before we begin.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> <b>My house is an absolute wreck.</b> We went to visit family over Labor Day weekend, and we are still trying to recover. Tim is in the middle of two DIY projects that have left our house a little topsy-turvy (living room mantle and new bathroom flooring). If you're wondering why there's rubbing alcohol and mouthwash in our dining room, that's why. Ha. #ifyoudontlaughyoullcry</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>I am not going to make the photos "artsy." </b> No white backgrounds. No soft lighting or glossy filters. This is as real as it gets, guys. Ain't nobody got time for that. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Try not to let my glamorous life make you feel bad about your own. </b> Not everyone can pull off this lifestyle. Five o'clock hors d'oeuvres and crystal chandeliers. It's ok. Really. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> <b>I love my life and wouldn't change a thing. </b> Everyday, I pray I'm worthy of my calling as wife and stay at home mom. I hope my gratitude and joy is apparent in the coming post. No matter how uneventful it may seem.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> <b>As I thought about this post, I immediately worried I wouldn't come off as "busy" enough.</b> Being a stay at home mom is hard, and being a working mom is hard. I think it's all give and take. Everyday, I'm learning that my worth and security lies in who I am in The Lord and not how often my kitchen is clean. Lord help us all. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Enjoy. :) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">8:20- Ella and I are up. This is late for us, but you'll hear no complaints from me.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> We are slow-starts in the morning. Ella and I snuggle for a bit while she drinks her milk. We sit in silence, and I mentally prepare for the day. It's a nice few minutes together...and ends up being one of my favorite parts of the day. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Ella eventually perks up a bit. I make us bagels & cream cheese, grapes and a LARGE cup of coffee for mama. We catch up on Bachelor in Paradise. Ella is rooting for Grant & Lace. I'm still on the fence. No one is surprised about Nick & Jen, although, as a courtesy, we feign shock. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> While we finish breakfast, I mess around online a bit. I add to Ella's Amazon Wishlist for her first birthday and take a glance at my daily planner. I use the last 15 or so minutes before Ella's first nap to start kind of getting my life together (haha). I throw on some clothes and put my contacts in. Next, I collect dishes from various parts of the house, load the dishwasher and wash the high chair tray.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Around 10:30- Ella goes down for her first nap. I decide to use this time to do some "administrative tasks" ((Read: blog, check Facebook, and balance our checking account)). The dining room table is driving me crazy, so I take 10 minutes to clean it off, cut some flowers from the yard, and contemplate making another cup of coffee (I don't make one in favor of drinking my tumbler of water. Good choice, mama...who am I fooling? We both know I'll have a 2nd cup before the day is through). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> One of my <a href="http://www.cartwheelsdownthehall.com/2016/09/blog-tember-day-2-hashtag-goals.html" target="_blank">goals for the month</a> is to re-evaluate our finances in an attempt to pay off some of our debt. I grab my "financial calendar" and get ready to dive in. I also preheat the oven for lunch and text a few of my pals...good deals on zulily...a tomato soup recipe. Like I said above, it's all very glamorous. ;)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> ELLA IS UP! That nap time goes way too fast! As I mentioned above, we were out of town for the weekend, so our grocery situation is seriously lacking. Around 1:30, I make some random chicken and green beans I found in the freezer. Ella also snacks on some oranges. I'm disappointed because the green beans were supposed to have almonds in them, and I thought that sounded SUPER exciting, only to open the package and discover they were...sans almonds. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Still tired! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> The TV plays in the background while I try to finish up the work I'm doing at the table. I'm finally crunch the numbers long enough that I'm able to set a goal to pay off two of our small debts within 6 months. Ella discovers how to change the TV stereo from "cable" to "DVD." She does not know how to turn it back again. This presents a problem, as you can imagine. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Around 2:45, we head to Kroger. Our diaper situation is getting SERIOUS, and I need to pick up a few things for the week. We are thrilled to discover they've put mums out and even more excited to see their priced pretty reasonably. I make a mental note to pick some up next weekend. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> We're home by around 3:30. We literally live within walking distance of the store, yet by the time I pull onto our street, Ella is asleep. My poor, cute and tiny baby. I EASE her into the house for her second (mini) nap and focus on putting groceries away. Someone has pooped on the kitchen floor. Process of elimination reveals it's either Scarlett or Noel. After a lengthy interrogation, neither one of them will fess up...nor will they throw the other under the bus. The loyalty is strong in these two. Poop be gone. While I'm working in the kitchen, I discover the almonds that were supposed to go in my green beans. Bummer. Mystery solved. Maybe they'll be good with oatmeal? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> While Ella naps, I decide to take the time to do my devotions. I am bad about throwing it into my day "here and there" and really need to focus on getting into a routine. It is always too easy for my quiet time to be the FIRST thing that gets pushed out of the way when life gets busy. I read a bit out of <a href="http://www.christianbook.com/happen-surrendor-take-leap-live-purporse/lara-casey/9780529101501/pd/10150X?dv=c&en=google&event=SHOP&kw=books-0-20%7C10150X&p=1179710&kw=&mt=&dv=c&event=PPCSRC&p=1018818&gclid=CJCLhdLNg88CFRQjgQodZ5EJeA" target="_blank">Lara Casey's book</a>. In the current chapter, she asks us to focus on a verse that speaks TRUTH to the devil's lies. I look up verses about having confidence and write down <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews+4%3A16" target="_blank">Hebrews 4:16</a> . I smile as I make the connection between the verse and my birthday (April 16th). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> I also crack open a Diet Coke and enjoy an apple alone at the table. Tim bought me some really yummy Amish Peanut Butter spread while we were in Nashville over the weekend. I practically lick the plate. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Ella wakes up a little after four. Not a great nap, but we'll take it. We have what will only be referred to as "an incident." I make a note in my calendar to shampoo the carpets. Ella gets a bath. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> I have to bathe her in the sink because our bathroom is still torn apart from the work Tim did on the flooring (our other bathroom only has a shower). It's so much easier to do it in the sink, and Ella loves how the water pours over her head. At the moment, we're both pretty content. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> I let the dogs out and go to check on my container garden. It's slowly winding down, but I'm enjoying the last few veggies we have left. Ella follows closely behind. (She's usually not allowed on the laundry room floor...this was a big deal for her). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> The time is now 4:45, and we're both starting to get a little antsy. I am feeling discouraged by the fact that I've gotten very few TANGIBLE "chores" done today, and Ella is running on fumes (gosh darn the 'mini' nap). Sometimes this mom-life is about working behind the scenes. It will be great when we're paying off our car loan a year early because of the work I've done today, but all I can see are the dishes in the sink. You know...I struggle when there is no clear "before and after." Ella got some milk on the straps of her car seat. I desperately need to wipe it all down. That task is really important, but it's not something anyone off the street would actually NOTICE. I'm learning to appreciate "my work" in all forms, but it's still hard. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> We both go to her room, and I start slowly tidying so I can take pictures for an upcoming blog post. I am getting ready to transfer over her 9 month clothes to her 12 month wardrobe. It's overwhelming. She has some birthday presents I need to put away. I fold clothes. I make stacks and piles. Ella continues to fuss. I snap a few photos and crack a few jokes, "Aww...did we poke the bear?" </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">She finds this less and less amusing as time goes on. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I power through. Today was the day I was going to document for a blog post. I HAVE to get some things accomplished. This place is a wreck. WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!?!?! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Mild panic attack. Fuss fuss. Fold clothes. Pick up toys. Wipe down furniture. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And then The voice of The Lord and <a href="http://laracasey.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/What-Matters-Most.pdf" target="_blank">Sweet Lara Casey</a> HITS ME. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">"Do what matters most." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What matters most? I am home. I am here. With my baby. My tired, fussy baby who didn't take much of a nap and just wants to be held. Sometimes a girl just needs her mom. (LORD KNOWS I STILL DO)!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I relent. We Surrender. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I pick up my baby and snuggle her in close. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Ok. This. THIS is what MATTERS MOST. Everything else can wait. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">While we're snuggling, Tim calls and offers to bring home dinner. This almost NEVER happens. He must have sensed my distress. Ha. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">He gets home around 5:30 with dinner. We eat pretty quickly, play with our girl and then put her to bed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> We spend the rest of the evening on the couch watching Fringe together before it gets booted off Netflix. I end the night with some decaf coffee, a little chocolate, a shower and some quality time with my guy. Sweet morning, rough afternoon, perfect night. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Love and spur-of-the-moment-boneless-chicken-wings, </span></div>
Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-64829451119217194412016-09-08T12:45:00.001-07:002016-09-08T12:45:48.485-07:00Blog Tember Day 8 - Room Tour <span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This month, I'm participating in <a href="http://www.braveloveblog.com/" target="_blank">Bailey's Blogtember Challenge</a>. She asked us to post a room tour. Today, I'm featuring Ella's room. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnk390R_treiWT6uZq8WAS-2yQdz48gsApBhSCTyN8YyUVyxEn5Vez-u9QyHAvsJVZFwBs2wWGWgxGotKtem9bmenoipqK17qIknLzK8szuFJgFqdVi6N0nOj_8-HMIM2PUUzQ_yhY7TQ/s1600/blognurserytour.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnk390R_treiWT6uZq8WAS-2yQdz48gsApBhSCTyN8YyUVyxEn5Vez-u9QyHAvsJVZFwBs2wWGWgxGotKtem9bmenoipqK17qIknLzK8szuFJgFqdVi6N0nOj_8-HMIM2PUUzQ_yhY7TQ/s640/blognurserytour.jpg" width="496" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> So...this is my first "room tour" post. We have black-out curtains in the nursery so Ella can sleep better. I feel like they made the lighting a bit weird/hard to edit...but at the same time...they're like, "We're BLACK OUT CURTAINS. What more do you want from us?" They definitely could use a good steam iron and some new hooks...but that's pretty low on the priority list, as you can imagine. ;) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Ella's room is my favorite room in the house. I put a ton of work into it...I hope you enjoy it and possibly get some ideas for your own tiny one's room. We actually spend a lot of time in here, so I'm glad I invested the energy into personalizing it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Just FYI...decoration-wise...almost everything is either vintage, handmade by family or came from Michael's or Hobby Lobby.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> The first thing you see when you walk in the room is the crib. I like that at night, I can crack open the door just barely and check on our girl. I also love that her face is the first thing I see when I come get her from a nap! The gallery wall behind her crib also makes me happy just looking at it. My dad cut the wooden "Ella" letters for me. I pretty much made or pieced together everything else. We found the little bluebird in Tim's grandparents' old barn. I honestly built the whole theme around that bird...I've held onto it for years! </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhuaS7bNl8zenDYnZk377fLLGY0ZbMc8nhiFWORSUeacb9SBidfy-TAvxv77RNuw4m6SKk8hnL0uuIbnA4CnbxkyirVXcyGbopbjZ7nL4F-g1vuFHBYNlxoy3x-iLzlj1KOcV7RcvjHJs/s1600/Screen+Shot+2016-09-07+at+6.46.17+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="391" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhuaS7bNl8zenDYnZk377fLLGY0ZbMc8nhiFWORSUeacb9SBidfy-TAvxv77RNuw4m6SKk8hnL0uuIbnA4CnbxkyirVXcyGbopbjZ7nL4F-g1vuFHBYNlxoy3x-iLzlj1KOcV7RcvjHJs/s400/Screen+Shot+2016-09-07+at+6.46.17+PM.png" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">All of <b>Ella's bedding</b> came from Babies R Us. You can find it online <a href="https://www.balboababy.com/product-category/bedding-collections/grey-dahlia/" target="_blank">here</a>. Cocker Spaniel not included. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>This is my favorite little nook.</b> It's so cozy, and we spend a lot of time here. The cart and lamp are from IKEA. I covered the lamp myself with fabric from Hobby Lobby. The chair was given to us, second hand from a sweet friend. I love that she rocked her babies in it, and now I'm rocking mine. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKOZM1XaSoEQoXpmfVvQmN_w019e4YmAYeRprgjdfwTDwdnzTYxhLLtwQFltL68yapTkExuzbEypgd7kCNgBRe3MDPw0mWv7hDQO6yPiUZxXyWp_x7dAWOaQsfq9nfqz8QE1qYCGeeM7M/s1600/IMG_9524.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKOZM1XaSoEQoXpmfVvQmN_w019e4YmAYeRprgjdfwTDwdnzTYxhLLtwQFltL68yapTkExuzbEypgd7kCNgBRe3MDPw0mWv7hDQO6yPiUZxXyWp_x7dAWOaQsfq9nfqz8QE1qYCGeeM7M/s640/IMG_9524.JPG" width="480" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I framed pictures from a vintage children's book and used scrapbook paper as a background. The frames are from Hobby Lobby.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6Tp6J8yJ6OAsoQo1yBejtr_GqONbOsMxVTQZiqAWttxZjfEBnIFV9wuHd1QaAEqENYeewgQ6xpAzhUUT5EvxjN2RXhklUPgnP89i2P8oWI4EAFQ4o0LU20UprHXZtASI000F__V0J5cg/s1600/IMG_9523.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6Tp6J8yJ6OAsoQo1yBejtr_GqONbOsMxVTQZiqAWttxZjfEBnIFV9wuHd1QaAEqENYeewgQ6xpAzhUUT5EvxjN2RXhklUPgnP89i2P8oWI4EAFQ4o0LU20UprHXZtASI000F__V0J5cg/s640/IMG_9523.JPG" width="480" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Changing Table-</b> We bought the dresser from an unfinished furniture place. Tim stained it all for Ella, and it's perfect. The drawers hold her current clothes, diapers, and her clothes for the following season. The bottom drawer has extra or "overflow" items like hand sanitizer and all the "baby proofing" items we're slowly starting to use (outlet covers, cabinet locks, etc.).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <b>The striped basket </b>is from Target. Inside, I have diapers, sanitizer, rash cream, the nose frita, and a forehead thermometer. Someone gave us the bird statue as a wedding gift, which I think is really sweet. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>The rocking horse</b> belonged to Tim's mom when she was a child. About 3/4 of the animals were mine when I was little. A couple of them were gifts. The rest are from IKEA or <a href="http://www.jellycat.com/" target="_blank">jellycat</a>. Tim won her the little, green monster at a festival down the street over the summer. So sweet. This is my view whenever I am rocking her in the chair (opposite wall). It's nice to put my feet up and see all her animal friends. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>The rack</b> is just a plant holder we found at Lowe's and spray painted white. As Ella gets older, we'll have to make them more accessible, but for right now, keeping them out of Scarlett's mouth has been the key. With the help of my mother in law, I made the bird garland from a digital file I found on <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/theinknest?ref=shopsection_shophome_leftnav" target="_blank">Etsy. </a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> As a former teacher, I needed a place to store all my old children's books. Thanks for loaning me some shelf space, Ella. Her "piggy bank" is just a mason jar covered with a chalkboard label sticker. The little squirrel belonged to Tim's family. It sat on top of the fridge in his first apartment. We've long since misplaced the acorns that go with it. The little, green T came from Tim's room when he was small.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> My mother in law painted this gorgeous piece per my request. She did a fantastic job, and I love that it will grow with Ella. I could still see this in her room, even as a teenager. The dollhouse was built by my dad, and I played in it when i was little. It has made great storage for her headbands, blankets, and little finger puppets. She loves digging through the baskets and looking at all her "treasures." He made her "name train" as well. Last, every girl needs a framed photo of her dogs. ;) ((Also...I love having the touch-light up there so I can see her quickly when I want to obsess over if she's breathing at night. You understand. )) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I made a collage of items similar to what's in Ella's nursery. How cute is that bluebird pitcher? And...I think I just found the bedding if our next baby is a girl. Ha.</span><br />
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<a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/458278282/vintage-lefton-bluebird-creamer?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=blue%20birds&ref=sr_gallery_11" target="_blank">Bluebird Creamer</a> <a href="http://www.kirklands.com/product/Art-Wall-Decor/Picture-Frames/Aqua-Floral-Wooden-Picture-Frame-5x7/pc/2283/c/2312/197442.uts" target="_blank">Picture Frame</a> <a href="http://www.michaels.com/ashland-rush-storage-basket-large/10277632.html#pmpt=qualifying&sz=24&start=27" target="_blank">Basket</a> <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/270615602/baby-girl-bedding-floral-crib-sheet-pink?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=changing%20pad%20cover&ref=sr_gallery_3" target="_blank">Bedding</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0115QW6R2/ref=sxr_pa_click_within_right_3?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=2329824862&pf_rd_r=7XJ89MCG4FCD72TTJH43&pd_rd_wg=bL0UQ&pf_rd_s=desktop-rhs-carousels&pf_rd_t=301&pd_rd_w=mSlJG&pf_rd_i=vintage+birdhouse&pd_rd_r=9X7C0XMKGCXDKYQSGEG1&psc=1" target="_blank">Vintage Birdhouse </a> <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/241823233/vintage-book-birds-at-home-childrens?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=children%20book%20birds&ref=sr_gallery_40" target="_blank">Vintage Bird Book </a><br />
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<br />Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-33325078788006015062016-09-07T09:02:00.001-07:002016-09-07T09:05:36.919-07:00Blog-Tember Day 7- Five Things that Bring me Joy <div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> This month, I'm participating in Bailey's <a href="http://www.braveloveblog.com/2016/08/the-2016-blog-tember-challenge.html" target="_blank">Blog-tember Series</a>. Today's prompt asked for five things that bring me joy. I'm a list-girl, so this one was right up my alley. It was honestly hard to narrow it down. Hooray! (I actually had to take "Skinny Pop Popcorn" off the list...ha). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b style="font-size: 16px;">My Container Garden- </b> Now that Labor Day is over and we are heading towards fall, I'm getting ready to "close up shop." I'm pretty sad about it, but we got a lot of great sweet banana peppers, cherry tomatoes, and a few green peppers this season. I loved cooking with my own basil and cilantro as well. I learned a lot, and I'm so so glad I chose containers over raised beds this year- much less work and easier to water. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Being a SAHM</b>- I could shout this from the rooftops. I can honestly say I am thankful everyday for the opportunity to stay home with our girl. I love being a wife and mom. My new "job" has been the answer to many, many years of prayer. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Not always a morning person...bless her little heart. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>My Cleaning Schedule</b>- <a href="https://www.fix.com/blog/weekly-cleaning-schedule/" target="_blank">(see here)</a> This probably sounds a little obsessive/crazy. I'd love to post more about this later, but in short, I work on one room a day, and it helps keep me from being super overwhelmed. My house is not "perfect" by any stretch of the imagination, but on days where I feel very, "WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY LIFE!?!?!" having a schedule (sort of) keeps me sane. I also find I enjoy being "out" more with Ella because I'm not as worried about chores/daily productivity. As long as I worked on my scheduled room(s) that day, I don't feel as bad if nothing else gets house-wise gets accomplished. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>My Nightly Routine (Coffee/ Netflix/ Something Sweet)</b>- Once Ella goes to bed, I feel like my day finally starts winding down. I love to settle in with some good (or horrible) TV...haha... a cup of decaf coffee and a little something sweet like these <a href="http://wereparentsblog.com/lactation-energy-bites" target="_blank">homemade energy bites. </a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What list is compete without <b>Ella Marie</b>? - She is my favorite, favorite, favorite and there aren't enough words in the universe to describe her cuteness, sweetness, and the joy she brings to our hearts. She is joy personified. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Love and you really need to try the popcorn, </span></div>
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Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-91935384167583306102016-09-04T05:00:00.000-07:002016-09-04T05:00:00.157-07:00Blog-Tember- Day 4 "Currently" <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDRbN_AOFP1pxj_wozTfePIurBAHf9pTFVEAO3s5MwFxxzVIA6PGv5zbnJTuBFpyW4IrIAUob1gL6AyFjfvCwf8NZEbd9V1TluBVDW99891UD2l4obPP8mZu84QBStyD37TdqzCiB3MWQ/s1600/Screen+Shot+2016-09-01+at+9.48.35+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDRbN_AOFP1pxj_wozTfePIurBAHf9pTFVEAO3s5MwFxxzVIA6PGv5zbnJTuBFpyW4IrIAUob1gL6AyFjfvCwf8NZEbd9V1TluBVDW99891UD2l4obPP8mZu84QBStyD37TdqzCiB3MWQ/s640/Screen+Shot+2016-09-01+at+9.48.35+AM.png" width="506" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Reading...</b> Make it Happen by Lara Casey (I'm like...2 years late on this one- ha)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Playing... </b>the role of "Laundry Fairy" today </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Watching...</b> HGTV on mute (read: multi-tasking)</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Trying...</b> to make a plan for baby-proofing the house...a little overwhelming </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Cooking...</b> all the fun "Buzzfeed Tasty" recipes I have saved on Facebook </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Eating...</b> Skinny Pop Popcorn- Delicious + not junky! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Drinking...</b>Vanilla Caramel Coffee with lots o' creamer </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Calling...</b> my mom for no reason, as usual...haha</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Texting...</b>people pictures of my cute kid (also per usual) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Pinning...</b> Ideas for Ella's First Birthday Party </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Going...</b> to get a workout in today </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Loving...</b>the new tile Tim laid in our bathroom </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Hating...</b>the mess that comes with home construction projects </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Discovering...</b> that functioning as a SAHM while also trying to accomplish some personal goals = ORGANIZATION & PLANNING!!!!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Thinking...</b>about how I need to start drinking more water during the day </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Feeling...</b> the need to find a (house)work/life balance </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Hoping... </b>to mulch and plant some new flowers (mums?) within the next few weeks (yay)! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Listening...</b> to the utility workers outside (installing a natural gas line on our street) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Celebrating...</b> the freedom that comes with beginning to wean Ella (or I'm bawling my eyes out...you decide) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Smelling....</b> My coffee creamer...might make another cup! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Ordering...</b>stickers to help organize my planner (to cook, clean, blog, etc.). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Thanking...</b>my lucky stars that Ella is taking a good nap today! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Considering...</b>joining a gym...I love my current at-home program but think I'd benefit from some "me" time on the treadmill as well</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Starting... </b>to get excited about fall! </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b style="text-align: justify;">Finishing...</b><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;">my Powersheets...even if I have to do them at 1am...haha. </span></span><br />
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Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-12659957429463499272016-09-03T06:30:00.000-07:002016-09-03T06:30:02.249-07:00Blog-Tember Day 3, Summer Favorites <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Summer Favorites</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> It's so hard to pick just a few favorite summertime memories. I feel like this season, Ella has really been able to interact with the world around her and actually play and explore. It is the most fun EVER! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> <b> We had several invites to The Petting Zoo</b> that traveled around to local libraries this summer. Lots of love for our little goat, llama, chicken, and duck friends. DON'T FORGET THE MINI HORSE!!! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> <b> My Girlfriends and I went to see The Dixie Chicks Live</b>. Definitely a good show. I haven't been to a concert in ages. I felt 33 again. ;) We actually got rained on, but it just added to the nostalgia, as weird as that sounds. Fun memories. I'm gonna miss these open-air concert days come this winter! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>We celebrated my mom's recent retirement </b>with a cook-out/ camp out at a local park. Other than swimming, it was the first time Ella has really spent a significant amount of time playing outside. It was also the first time she REALLY watched and interacted with my sister's kids. (notice in the picture, she's eating crumbs from Lucas's little hand...haha). My parents have a pool, so the cake is decorated with all the cousins/grandkids swimming. It turned out super cute, I think. (I wish I could take credit for it...haha). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>My Girlfriends and I went to see The Downton Abbey Exhibit</b> at a museum downtown. Many of the costumes from the show were on display, and it was really neat to see them in person. We are all huge fans of the show and were sad to see it end. History buffs unite! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>SWIMMING! </b> My parents have a pool in their backyard. Ella loves to swim. This summer, we swam like it was OUR JOB!!! :) It makes me tired/hungry just thinking about it! Anyone else get tired and hungry around water? Yes. Please! Ella does, too. Exhibit A. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> As I'm looking back, I'm realizing how much I love my pals. We've spent a good portion of the summer together, and I don't mind it one bit (they've been mentioned in the past like...3 memories above). <b>Meeting up for some</b> <b>Chick-fil-a and a trip to the splash pad is one of our favorite summer traditions</b>. Stay out of Ella's way! I'm sure people thought I was being pretty cavalier with her little face getting in the water, but the truth is, she doesn't mind it one bit. Getting water in her face like it ain't no thang! What a brave baby. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>We just returned from a trip to Wildwood, NJ with my family. </b> It was Ella's first trip to the ocean, and she loved every minute of it! Highlights include eating a week's worth of Polish Water Ice, visiting The Cape May Zoo, Swinging at the playground, and playing in the ocean. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I'm a little sad to see summer go. As a former teacher, I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the coming fall season. My brain has yet to register that I'm not going back to school..it still feels like summer to me. With enough Pumpkin Spice Lattes, it's sure to sink in. ;) Autumn, here we come. </span> </div>
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</a></span>Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-78640818457054801722016-09-02T06:40:00.000-07:002016-09-02T06:40:05.818-07:00Blog-Tember Day 2- Hashtag Goals <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Blog-Tember Challenge Day 2- September Goals </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Here are my goals for the month of September. One one hand, I'm worried that it's wayyyy too much...but I also feel like maybe it's nothing I can't accomplish with a solo trip to Starbucks and one or two Saturdays worth of work. I'm pretty unstoppable when I've had the right combination of sleep + caffeine. ;) We'll see! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">1. <b>Re-organize finances</b> I know Tim and I are not living "paycheck to paycheck" because I've done the math on numerous occasions. However, it never really feels like we are making any kind of headway on contributing to our savings or paying down our debt. We don't do a very good job of, as Dave Ramsey says, "Telling our money where to go." It just...goes. Ha. With that being said, I'd really like to sit down and re-evaluate where we are financially. I'd also like to set some tangible goals as far as adding to our savings account and paying down our debt. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">2. <b>Weed, mulch and plant mums </b>I am super excited for this one. We recently had stonework done on our chimney which meant I didn't get a chance to mulch our flower beds this summer (too much equipment in the way). Our yard has been overtaken by weeds, and it just looks pretty terrible. We've also had a streak of high temps., so everything is looking pretty wilty. I'm looking forward to mulching, digging up a few things, and planting some mums and fall foliage in their places. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">3. <b>Finish <a href="http://laracasey.com/book/">Make it Happen</a> + 1 more book</b> Lately, I've found it takes me forever to finish a book. Some people do a book and 1/2 a week. I'm shooting for a book and 1/2 a month. Haha...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">3a. Finish my Powersheets </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">4.<b> Buy new bras</b> I won't go into details on this one...but after 9 months of pregnancy and almost a year of breastfeeding, my undergarments have taken a serious hit. Poor Tim. It's bad. It's like I'm wearing the ghosts of undergarments past. I never really found nursing bras in my size, so I just kind of...made do. Next time, I'll definitely splurge on some quality, practical bras. Now that I'm finishing up that part of motherhood, I'm very much looking forward to going out alone...grabbing a latte and getting fitted properly. A shot of vanilla plus whip, please. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">5. <b>Ella/Mommy Fun Time ( At Home & Away)</b> This one is a big deal for me. I feel like I get so preoccupied with my daily chores/tasks, I sometimes miss the true "gift" of staying home. I'd like to be more intentional about the time I'm spending with Ella. I mean...we chat during her meal times and we snuggle during nap time. She likes to wander around the house with me while I change the laundry, etc. (She's like a little puppy...haha). However, now that she's getting older and more interactive, I'd love to explore more crafts, sensory activities, and story time ideas. The second part of this goal involves us getting OUT of the house. We run errands and visit family and friends, but I'd love for us to actually go somewhere like The Aquarium or The Children's Museum. She loves to swing at the playground, so that's definitely on the list once the weather cools down a bit. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">6.<b style="font-size: 16px;"> Write our will</b>- This one is kind of morbid, but it's a necessary goal, nonetheless. While I want to make sure our families can benefit from things like our life insurance policies and the equity we have in our home, my main concern is making our expectations clear in terms of who is going to care for Ella should a piano fall on our heads. This is a "must do" on the list for September. It's been hanging over my head pretty much since she was born. It will be nice to have it out of the way. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I'd love to hear your thoughts. Do you have any helpful tips for writing a will? Any ideas for where to find plus-sized bras (Jesus, help me!)? What should I read next? Tell me all the things! </span><br />
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<span style="border-radius: 5px; border: 1px solid lightgrey; display: inline-block; margin: 5px; padding: 5px;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=4535149725659813983" nbsp="" p=""></a></span>Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-11656801086145132542016-09-01T05:53:00.000-07:002016-09-01T05:54:06.570-07:00Blogtember Day 1- Nice to meet you <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> This month, I'm participating in Bailey Jean's September Blogging Incentive <a href="http://www.braveloveblog.com/2016/08/the-2016-blog-tember-challenge.html?m=1">(Blog-tember)</a>. I've been waiting to get back into regular blogging for a long time, now. I think this is a great way to start. Day 1 just asks for an introduction, so here we are. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Hello! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> My name is Holly Young, and I've been blogging off and on since the early 2000's. HARD TO BELIEVE! #ifeelold</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I live in The Great Midwest with my husband, 11 month old daughter (Ella) and our two dogs, (Scarlett & Noel). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: 16px;"> ((</span><span style="font-size: x-small;">I was VERY pregnant when this picture was taken, but it is currently the only one I can find. When you have a baby...the pictures you take of just you "as a couple" decrease significantly...haha. </span> <span style="font-size: x-small;">Plus, I think Tim looks really handsome in this one.)) </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> After 8 years, we still live in our teeny starter home, but we're (still) investing so much time, money and energy into all our house projects, it's hard to picture moving any time soon! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I'm an introvert cleverly disguised as an extrovert (read: ambivert?) If you're into that sort of thing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> I was an elementary school teacher for 10 years before fulfilling my dream of becoming a stay at home mom last year. I'd love to break into blogging (more often) along with freelance writing, Lord willing and the creek don't rise. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I always tell people I know there's a book and a 5k lingering somewhere inside me. We just have to get it all out, you guys. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">My current favorite places <i>on the internet </i>include <a href="https://theinfluencenetwork.com/">The Influence Network </a>and <a href="https://www.revelationwellness.org/">Revelation Wellness. </a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> My favorite places <i>in the world </i>include my back-porch container garden, the kitchen, and our living room couch. I'm a home-body at heart. My husband and I love to settle in with good food and good TV, but can never resist the call of the road (or friendly skies); we like to travel as often as we can. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I wrote a post about our journey to conceive <a href="http://www.cartwheelsdownthehall.com/2015/01/whole-highly-favored-post-about-not_3.html">here</a>. You can read Ella's birth story <a href="http://www.cartwheelsdownthehall.com/2016/05/dear-god-amen-birth-story-of-ella-marie.html">here</a>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I am a die-hard list maker. Instead of a traditional "About Me" post, I thought it might be fun to just publish a huge list of "likes." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It pretty much reads like my Chipotle order and everything in my Netflix queue so...sorry/not sorry, but thanks for sticking with me. <img alt="😉" class="EmojiInsert" id="OWAEmoji281362" naturalheight="19" naturalwidth="19" originalsrc="cid:87db4b1b-c2a8-4eff-846e-763bfc641b97" src="https://outlook.live.com/owa/service.svc/s/GetFileAttachment?id=AQMkADAwATExAGJmNy00YzUzLWExMjktMDACLTAwCgBGAAADugkazMS2ZU%2BpW7DPJerWdQcAtUxw29PrwE%2BupAb4xVt%2FJQAAAgEPAAAAtUxw29PrwE%2BupAb4xVt%2FJQAAAFg%2FiWkAAAABEgAQAL%2FXwGVTCIlHng63RvnD8Wk%3D&X-OWA-CANARY=Bf0i0W-IdUystC-H9rRdhlDgB2cR0tMY8hKe9XLGNO4uNHDZQqXsm49djrmMPDP750a0_x0OGn8." style="vertical-align: bottom;" /> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Here we go! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The Office, Friends, Stranger Things, That 70's Show, </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Arrested Development, Parks & Rec., Call the Midwife, 30 Rock </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">AMAZON PRIME</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The smell of limes</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Back-porch-container gardening</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Slowest <a href="https://laracaseyshop.com/collections/powersheets">#powersheet</a> user ever </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Lazy Susans in full bloom</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">EXTRA GUAC!!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Petting all the dogs</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">O-H-!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">C-section Mama</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Old Navy Pajama Pants</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">White Chocolate Mochas</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Bath & Body Works hand soap</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">St. Thomas, USVI</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Really good, sharp kitchen scissors</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">4 chords on the Ukulele </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Deathcab for Cutie</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Coffee + Chocolate</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Sunday Afternoon Naps</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Chocolate chip cinnamon coffee cake </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Old hardwood floors</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Friday Nights = $5 Pizza or Chinese Take-out </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">If any of this sounds like your sort of thing, you can find me on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/hollybierlyyoung">Facebook </a>and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/cartwheelsdownthehall/">Instagram</a>. I am thrilled you're here. Happy September! Tiny Baby Ella, carry us out! </span></div>
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Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-18482649412298863902016-05-16T11:11:00.000-07:002016-05-16T11:12:01.019-07:00The Path of Least Resistance <span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Ella has been on somewhat of a miniature "nursing strike" (?) that I think has to do with teething. Also, I've been working out regularly and that combination means my milk supply has taken a hit. Everyone says breastfeeding helps you lose weight, but what they don't tell you is that it TAKES calories to make milk. Calories in...Calories out....and then more calories out. If you mess with the system, your milk suffers. And you're starving all the time. I have had so many people tell me they couldn't lose weight until they weaned. Your body holds onto absolutely every single calorie when you're nursing. It's the most genius, intelligent design and also the most maddening. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> All this to say, I've been supplementing a lot. I nurse her on each side for a while and then top her off with a bottle. She gets sooooo excited when she sees the bottle. It kind of breaks my heart a little. Heartbreakingly cute. She even bounces up and down. She is Baby Smeagol and the bottle is her Preeeecccccioussss! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> She has also been waking up at night. For the first time in probably...6 months, she's up again...and again. For a while. You guys. I don't mean to be overly dramatic, but...I'm probably dying. Another thing no one tells you is that it's not necessarily a "lack of sleep" you're experiencing but rather a lack of CONSISTENT SLEEP. That's the real bummer. I haven't slept longer than a 2-3 hour stretch in weeks. Naps are good. I will never in my life turn down the opportunity for a good hour long nap. Sweet, kind, adorable people of the internet...nothing replaces a good 5-7 hour stretch of nighttime sleep. Please. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Last night, I sat in the soft, creaky rocking chair that was given to me, secondhand from a sweet friend, and I rocked Ella. Back and forth. Back and forth. Creak-creak. Creak-creak. I propped the bottle up against my chest, laid my head back and sighed. I started thinking about All the Deep and Heavy Middle of The Night Things, as one does at 3am. Dark. Quiet. Alone. The truth is...I'm bummed about my milk. I'm worried about it. I approach it like it's this elusive thing....here one day...gone the next...(and it's totally not). Truth is...I am TOO worried about it. It is fine. Really. It will be fine. At almost 8 months in (how is that possible?) I now consider myself an "experienced" nursing mother. We can do this. And still...here I am...at 3am...grumbling. I resent the pump. I curse the formula, and yet...somehow I am also unendingly grateful for these dependable, life-giving things. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We look into each other's eyes...deep quiet...as we sing songs about Jesus.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I heave another sigh and ask, as I rock my hungry, beautiful child. "Can this count as worship?" I pray a silent prayer, "Lord, please say yes." And, of course, He does. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I realize...the easy thing to do is to start praying that my Ella Baby will once again sleep through the night. And yet...The Bible is full of stories about God decidedly NOT using the path of least resistance. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">God: Jonah, this is Whale. Whale. This is Jonah. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Whale: ((promptly swallows Jonah))</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(End scene)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You understand.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I read one time that in America, we pray for lighter loads while in other countries, they simply pray for stronger backs. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And you guys. That just hit me. Hard. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I mean...this is motherhood, right? I refuse to make good sleep and abundant breast milk my idols, and I think The Lord wants to use the fuzzy exhaustion to turn me into a better person. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If, you know, being a "better person" means griping at my husband in the bathroom doorway at 4am. In that case, YES! I WIN! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I really do not know where we go from here. We pray. We feed. We sleep when we can. And perhaps, most importantly, we avoid the path of least resistance. </span><br />
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<br />Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-5168990034841123002016-05-08T20:25:00.000-07:002016-05-09T06:53:36.490-07:00Dear God, Amen: The Birth Story of Ella Marie <div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> To start, I will tell you I don’t
think I ever reached the “10<sup>th</sup> level of hell miserably
pregnant” stage of my pregnancy. Yes. I was hot. Yes. I was tired.
But... Ella never really dropped. I never felt her in my pelvis.
There wasn’t ever any pressure. She was just “up there.” I
don’t know why this seems like a pertinent part of the story,
but...here we are.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> As many of you know, Tim and I
destroyed our house with projects in the months before my due date.
Like...no-flooring in the kitchen...oven in the living
room...DESTROYED. I often told my baby I “wasn’t ready.” <br /><br />My
“not readiness” was actually 1 part “still cleaning” and 2
parts “terrifyingly-horrifically-afraid.” Which I can see now
makes very little sense. <br /><br />I have often heard women say they
cry on their due dates. The weekend before, I was like, “Why do
women cry. I’m fine.” <br /><br />And then my actual due date hit.
Bah-haha!
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">All this to say... never one to disobey
her mom...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Ella was late. <br /><br />I won’t bore
you with details (IS IT TOO LATE!?!?!) ;) <br /><br />On my due date,
(Monday, September 21<sup>st</sup>), my doctor informed me that
absolutely nothing had changed (not dilated or effaced). I may as
well have been 30 or so weeks pregnant instead of staring 40-ish
weeks in the face. We talked about induction...I cried the entire day
and was scheduled to go back on Wednesday. Cry. Cry. Cry. <br /><br />You
know the drill. I was officially past my due date, and for various
reasons, doctors wanted to induce..</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Um...is there another term we could use
for “hysterical mess?” God bless the people in my life who
didn’t screen my calls between my due date and my next appointment.
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I was scheduled to come back Wednesday
afternoon (September 23<sup>rd</sup>).
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">That morning, I cried and prayed (and
prayed and prayed). I put on some of the only clothes that still felt
like they sort of fit (black shorts, a purple tank top, a soft gray
cardigan and flip flops...ALWAYS flip flops...heehee). This is the last "belly photo" I took before she was born. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I (somehow) pulled myself together and
went about my day. I was on the hunt for “tiny pumpkins” to
decorate our front porch for fall before Ella arrived. I looked at
several different places. I told my mom I thought I was projecting
ALL MY ANXIETY on finding those tiny pumpkins. For some reason, they
just felt desperately important. I dropped off a load of “junk”
at salvation army and bought three Christmas ornaments for Ella at
Hobby Lobby. I felt like I needed confirmation that she would get
here in time to see them. At that point, I was honestly preparing
for a 2016 baby (haha).
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I scarfed down drive-through chik-fil-a
and watched Parks and Recreation on Netflix as I stared at the
clock. I practiced DEEP BREATHING. Tim was running late, so we were
going to meet at the office. On the way, I blasted part of my labor
and delivery playlist (Bethel Music, Lauren Daigle & Jeremy
Riddle) and continued breathing. The appointment went very fast. The
nurse looked at my chart and said, “They might send you over to
induce tonight.” <br /><br />I thought she was joking.
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We spoke briefly with the doctor and he
told us we needed to go check into the hospital.
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">THIS IS NOT THE PLAN GUYS. THIS WAS
NOT THE PLAN. I did not have my bags with me. There were tons of
items still unpacked (make-up, chargers, hair dryer, etc.). I did
not say good-bye to the dogs...I had an entire list of things “to
do” before we left the hospital in my fancy Erin Condren planner.
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I thought I would be hysterical, but I
was excited. So excited. People. This is proof that God exists.
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We checked in at the front desk...took
a selfie...of course...and headed to our room.
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The first nurse I met was a God-send.
She became my instant bestie. I will remember her forever. No joke.
You L&D nurses...don’t ever underestimate the importance of
your job. Holy Smokes.
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">When we checked in, our good friend
(who happens to be an anesthesiologist) stopped by to see us. I
didn’t want to tell anyone we had been admitted until everything
was settled (paperwork finished, blood drawn, etc.). I wanted to be able to make my phone calls without being interrupted. I remember
cracking up because we were just chatting casually while NO ONE in
our families knew what was happening.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Tim went to get my bags, feed the dogs
and gather a few necessary things. (Like snacks and a steak dinner
for me from Outback, to-go). Funny side note: My DOCTOR and Nurse
Best Friend actually sat with me while I looked online and decided
what I wanted to order as my “last meal” before delivery. It was
very sweet and not what I was expecting at all. Outback Steakhouse
for the win. (For the record, I was allowed to eat a little after that because my induction took soooooo long, but we didn't know that at the time). <br /><br />I was antsy for him to get back because
OMGOODNESS WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENED!?!?! I watched news about The
Pope’s visit to the U.S. While I waited. Riveting.
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Little did I know, this is where it
gets incredibly boring for the next 30 hours. Ha.
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Wed. night (Sept. 23<sup>rd</sup>) and
Thursday (Sept. 24th), they pumped me full of drugzzzz and
like...nothing happened...except I was bedridden and super
uncomfortable. The first prescription they used was...in a
word...unpleasant. If you end up being induced, call me first.
We’ll chat. ;) Thursday afternoon, they let me off the wires and
machines for an hour so we could walk around and I could shower.
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Best hour of my life. I’m not
kidding. It felt so good to get up and stretch my legs. The shower
was magnificent, and Tim didn’t leave my side. He even sat outside
the bathroom door and kept me company while I showered. It was really
sweet.
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">They started a new drug around 3pm
because nothing....nothing....NOTHING was happening. Nurse best friend had returned for a new shift (WE WERE THERE FOR SO LONG), I was getting really discouraged, so she fashioned a tiny hat with a bow and hung it on the bassinet at the foot of my bed. I needed a sign that Ella was actually maybe probably someday coming. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Tim left to potty the dogs,and I was so
bored and bed-ridden that I did my make up. Like. Full-on make up.
Ha. <br /><br />Prom, anyone?</span></div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Another side note: Do yourselves a
favor and find a trusted friend or family member to potty your dogs
while you have your baby. Not that anyone would have minded doing it-
we just didn’t bother to ask, initially. Kind of like...how
inconvenient can it be, right? The answer is...very inconvenient.
And we live 7 minutes from the hospital.
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Fast forward to around 9:30 that night.
I remember my doctor saying he thought we should talk about
“throwing in the towel.” I was SO RELIEVED. They had upped my
pitocin to 14 and Ella was still locked in tight. TIGHT! The
highest they will go is 20 (I have no idea what this measurement
means...and didn’t care to ask...haha). By this time, I was having
contractions, but they were mild (?) and uncomfortable. I was
breathing through them a bit but they weren’t doing anything
productive.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> We had been at the hospital for 30
hours. Yeesh. If you guys want her out, that’s fine...but you’re
going to have to go in and get her. I had made my peace with that. I started sending out frantic texts and making phone calls. Tim was still gone, and I was allll, "You need to get back here." Thinking back, it feels like he was gone a lot...haha. We laughed about it afterwards- it seemed like EVERY TIME the doctor came in, Tim wasn't even in the room. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Once we were alone, Tim walked by the
bed, and I reached out my hand. “Look at me.” I pleaded. “This
really is the best thing? Everything is going to be ok?” He
nodded casually. “Yes. Yes. Sure. It’s fine.” He prayed with
me, and he decided to try to get some sleep (there was actually a
c-section ahead of me...by this time, it was around midnight). I had
zero expectations about sleeping. I was too wound up and was
constantly being checked and monitored by the nurses. (This was around midnight). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> I was really hoping to have
skin-to-skin time with Ella, and I was worried that surgery would
hinder that. They told me their lactation consultant was still there
(she would be the one to help hold Ella to my chest), but was on a
time crunch.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I sent a text to friends and family,
asking them to pray. I watched the clock. Nervous that we would run
out of time.
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> When the anesthesiologist arrived, he
was gruff and to the point. As he wheeled all his fancy machines
around the bed, hooking up my IV’s, he commented on the amount of
“stuff” in the room. I watched the ceiling tiles as Tim
emphatically agreed, “I tried to tell her...it was too much.”
(For the record, I had a bag of clothes for me/Ella, a canvas tote
that held her nursing pillow and a small tote bag of snacks and that
was IT). I remember thinking to myself, “Ok. Are we REALLY having
this conversation NOW?”
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> I was dreading the moment we would get
separated (I went into the OR first while Tim stayed behind and put
on his scrubs). I knew any kind of affection at all would evoke
tears, so I simply called out from my bed, “Tim Young. I will see
you on the other side.” as they wheeled my bed out the door.
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> I stepped out of my bed and sat on the
operating table. I just remember thinking, “I really, really,
really don’t want to do this.” Ugh. It was such a feeling of
dread.
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> There were several nurses in the room,
but you could hear a pin drop. In the moment, I thought they were
sharpening all the tools. Ha. I later heard someone say they just
count everything to make sure they don’t sew you up with their
scissors still inside. This makes perfect sense. Sharpening tools?
Hello? This is childbirth...not a mafia interrogation.
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Needless to say, I felt very small and
afraid.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> And then (OH MY WORD), I started to
panic. It felt like I was being held upside down. I could feel the
“numbness” creeping up towards my lungs (none of this was true,
by the way). Then I started worrying that if I panicked, they would
knock me out and I would miss Ella’s birth. <br /><br />I STARTED
PANICKING ABOUT THE PANICKING!!!! <br /><br />YOU GUYS! I still carry a
little bit of shame about the miniature panicking. I don’t even
know why. After 7 months, the fog has lifted I’m trusting that
eventually, it’ll clear completely.
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Let me just tell you...my team was the
perfect mix of tough and tender.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The anesthesiologist said, “Your
heart is racing. You need to get it together RIGHT HERE.” And he
poked my forehead. <br /><br />Looking back, the funny thing is, I found
his refusal to coddle me SO OFFENSIVE that it actually distracted me/
calmed me down. <br /><br />Hello...I’m freaking out over here. WHY
AREN’T YOU BEING SUPER NICE TO ME!!!!
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Also, it must be noted that...like an
idiot...I kept informing them OVER AND OVER AGAIN that OMGOODNESS I
CAN STILL FEEL THAT!!!!!! <br /><br />You guys. No one wants to feel
themselves being cut open.
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />Please.
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Interestingly enough, the doctor I
ended up with was actually number 4 on my mental list of preferred
doctors on call. I just didn’t know him that well, and he seemed a
bit standoffish. I now realize that I had just misread gentle as
“aloof.” God bless that kind, genius of a man.
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> We chatted about my sister’s kids (he
actually delivered my nephew) and the next thing I knew, My Tim had
arrived and all was right with the world.
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I made him tell me EVERYTHING HE KNOWS
ABOUT GUITARS OH MY WORD JUST KEEP TALKING. <br /><br />In the
background, I heard Dr. F say, “Well, hello there.” (At this
point, he could see Ella). <br /><br />“Are you guys ready to be
parents?” <br /><br />And then we heard her cry. (At 2:21am EARLY
Friday morning, Sept. 25<sup>th</sup>). <br /><br />And we both bawled
our faces off. She was finally here.
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Tim took photos and videos while they
weighed and measured my tiny, beautiful child. As I waited, I
whispered, “Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord.”
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> People have a lot of hang-ups about
c-sections. I get it. Kind of. I do. But here’s the thing. It
was the most amazing experience of my life because I don’t have a
choice. I can sulk about unmet expectations or I can enjoy it for
what it was- the birth of my tiny, beautiful child. It was something
my sweet Ella Baby and I survived together. Don’t we all want to
be able to look back and say, “Oh...by the time I got to the
hospital, my contractions were getting a little more painful, but
guess what...I was already 9 centimeters! I didn’t even have time
for an epidural. Three pushes later, my baby was out! And I went
home in my pre-pregnancy jeans!” <br /><br />I think THAT experience
is pretty rare. (And if that’s your experience, we’re very happy
for you, but seriously. Keep that story to yourself). ;) <br /><br />It’s
true that I was (technically) not the first one to hold my baby. Tim
did not get to cut the cord. <br /><br /> But you know who WERE the first
ones to hold her? People who are passionate about healthy mothers
and babies. People who have spent long days and late nights studying
techniques...pouring over research...perfecting their craft. They’ve
sacrificed holidays with their families and outings with their
friends...they’ve dedicated their entire lives to the act of
birthing babies...and that’s a really beautiful thing. The first
person to REALLY look at and photograph her was the same man who has
cried for her and prayed for her before he even knew she
existed...I couldn’t ask for a better experience ushering her into
this world...they held her for 2 minutes. I will hold her forever.
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Perspective.
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">After having said that, we had enough
staff present to do skin-to-skin in the O.R. While they stitched me
up which was a HUGE praise.
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Armed only with my wavering courage,
and their sharp, metal tools, We had waged war with Mother Nature,
and we had won. When the nurse held Ella to my chest, I felt like
the conquering queen presented with a fallen country’s treasure.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_Eovj2Zg2QGczFz8MT26kr9xwi7T_Bnx7eMmsQLEvRnjhXzw7E6nb3pl0P7lQh5PW9NiA0mbrwXkOYDHhnbi-D8-qGg9bWxw7pPCIp747dHiWbDI4QAg9ponGi6J4MVNnnpzGT2iTTlo/s1600/Screen+Shot+2016-05-08+at+11.12.48+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_Eovj2Zg2QGczFz8MT26kr9xwi7T_Bnx7eMmsQLEvRnjhXzw7E6nb3pl0P7lQh5PW9NiA0mbrwXkOYDHhnbi-D8-qGg9bWxw7pPCIp747dHiWbDI4QAg9ponGi6J4MVNnnpzGT2iTTlo/s640/Screen+Shot+2016-05-08+at+11.12.48+PM.png" width="404" /></span></a></div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I talked to Ella as she squirmed and
wriggled on my bare chest.
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The anesthesiologist wiped my tears for
me.
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> I was worried that I would feel like my
body had failed me. I realize now that my body was just asking for
grace. I am not very good at giving that to my body so...this lesson
was hard but also necessary and good. As someone who has needed
heaps upon heaps of grace in my lifetime, who was I to say no?
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> This was the end of the road for us. I
had asked my body to carry a child for 40 weeks. I begged it to keep
her warm and healthy and safe, and it had done exactly that. It had
helped Ella grow organs and eyes and arms and legs. She had my lips
and Tim’s nose (which I actually prayed she would get).</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">In the coming days, I would ask it to
heal and produce milk for my tiny, beautiful child.
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I had no complaints.
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">They moved me from the table back to my
hospital bed, placed Burrito-wrapped Ella by my side and wheeled us
back to the room with Tim following closely behind.
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> I don’t remember a lot about the 2
hours I spent in recovery, but I do remember feeling warm and safe
and so loved. I know there was a lot of temperature taking, incision
checking, and the like. Tim was in his element. I cannot say enough
nice things about That Tim. If I didn’t know any better, I would
have thought he and the nurse had come up with an entire recovery
plan... “You go left...I’ll go right.”
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> As the numbing meds wore off, I
shivered uncontrollably as they held Sweet Ella to my breast. She
nursed for a long time. Tim rubbed my sore muscles. (I had strained
my neck looking up at Ella on my chest after surgery). Tim sat next
to the bed and kept vigil while I tried to sleep with her on my bare
chest. I think whatever I lost from not having a “natural birth
experience,” I gained back in Recovery. A lot of good memories.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlzwGlswlNrMOyGHARPwhxFpnzUmdGUEXo2Lc6HOFuMONDJhhwHR9wYxltTgKSSuHPXflxBGNgBgGqpd6yUoa3G-Mng2V2icH6ylcQ-3FCWd6paHRZMELWmrR_Ru2mSSCd4oR4uCz0ow0/s1600/Screen+Shot+2016-05-08+at+11.08.33+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlzwGlswlNrMOyGHARPwhxFpnzUmdGUEXo2Lc6HOFuMONDJhhwHR9wYxltTgKSSuHPXflxBGNgBgGqpd6yUoa3G-Mng2V2icH6ylcQ-3FCWd6paHRZMELWmrR_Ru2mSSCd4oR4uCz0ow0/s400/Screen+Shot+2016-05-08+at+11.08.33+PM.png" width="326" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Excuse the weird shadow over my left eye...5am selfie lighting!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> By then it was nearly 5am. We barely
slept the rest of the day. The food was surprisingly good (might I
recommend their burgers, deli sandwiches and oatmeal). We snacked on
coffee and ice cream from the nearby “snack room” while all our
people came to see us (Ok. They came to see Ella, right?). </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN_d-hjmWmeVAqCcEfNpDI7k-amOlbzKScg5WBS0AzpirDc3xW_x5NoBU8T5m_624q-NDQDwmbAd0EghrdWQk3_0xK36Z3vqwIPSdSnye9cD0pXHO3cs3Dc0C9rf3dGQrGE3jqelymq3I/s1600/Screen+Shot+2016-05-08+at+5.12.10+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><img border="0" height="341" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN_d-hjmWmeVAqCcEfNpDI7k-amOlbzKScg5WBS0AzpirDc3xW_x5NoBU8T5m_624q-NDQDwmbAd0EghrdWQk3_0xK36Z3vqwIPSdSnye9cD0pXHO3cs3Dc0C9rf3dGQrGE3jqelymq3I/s400/Screen+Shot+2016-05-08+at+5.12.10+PM.png" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0c_7ENNJzLvHPLMtfnvjMykrcmlmzw3n2sflRm7REyMmac7M45q-GIcD1pzrs6b12LQ2cirbfw7QqAEP_3Qjwrk6vuMciIQV8VPqHW0a6aAUJU-wTcW5xvRQGecJTbBB6akLrj62wIUs/s1600/Screen+Shot+2016-05-08+at+5.12.25+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0c_7ENNJzLvHPLMtfnvjMykrcmlmzw3n2sflRm7REyMmac7M45q-GIcD1pzrs6b12LQ2cirbfw7QqAEP_3Qjwrk6vuMciIQV8VPqHW0a6aAUJU-wTcW5xvRQGecJTbBB6akLrj62wIUs/s400/Screen+Shot+2016-05-08+at+5.12.25+PM.png" width="268" /></span></a></div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Before bedtime on Saturday, I fed Ella
and Tim fed me vanilla pudding while we watched HGTV. Oh my word, I
want to remember that sweet scene forever.
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Here me now, you intelligent,
beautiful, teenage girls on the internet...this is why you don’t
have sex and make babies with someone who is not your husband. There
is blood. There are guts. (GUTS!?!?!) And you will want to
experience it with someone who is in it with you for the long haul.
Alex P. from your 12<sup>th</sup> Grade English Lit. Class is going
to go home and crash on his parents’ couch while playing XBOX as
you’re nursing your hungry, incredible child. He’s not going to
feed you pudding at 1am because that is not the way of The 12<sup>th</sup>
Grade Boy. That is, however, the way of the
30-something-married-for-8-years-responsible-home-owning-husband.
You almost can’t even understand it until you go through it, but I
digress.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBXd2JB8sVKAieGg5rOxFwfLd0BvCT6K38zFgSuv6X1jVE2ZJJccCGfvQSiYDDk_iJmMVOOLAl7vxLzXvCsoTcYPOteQI0E3Fc4HokOza6JF_ymGvkx-nydjHtKwrrKUbVJS0Dgziav3I/s1600/Screen+Shot+2016-05-08+at+5.12.36+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><img border="0" height="391" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBXd2JB8sVKAieGg5rOxFwfLd0BvCT6K38zFgSuv6X1jVE2ZJJccCGfvQSiYDDk_iJmMVOOLAl7vxLzXvCsoTcYPOteQI0E3Fc4HokOza6JF_ymGvkx-nydjHtKwrrKUbVJS0Dgziav3I/s400/Screen+Shot+2016-05-08+at+5.12.36+PM.png" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Saturday night was rough (We didn’t
go home until Sunday). Babies do this thing called cluster feeding
where they just want to eat all the time. It’s really kind of
maddening but also super sweet. Babies also don’t realize they’ve
been born...you know...in the middle of the night. Which makes
complete sense. Like, “I’m a baby...how am I supposed to know
it’s NIGHT TIME!?!” So...they have to learn about their own
little sleep cycles...night and day and what not. It’s a lot for a
little, tiny, baby.
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> So...I was awake. A lot. I
intentionally let That Tim sleep because, having just endured a
c-section, I knew I would NEED HIM IN THE MORNING AND PRETTY MUCH ALL
DAY AFTER THAT FOR AS LONG AS WE BOTH SHALL LIVE!!! I devoured
season after season of Parks and Recreation and ate deli sandwiches
and sodas from our room’s tiny fridge. I paced the floor and read
every single poster hanging on the walls of our room...at least
twice. In all seriousness, when I think about that night, as hard as
it was, it still makes me happy. Just me and my teeny, floppy baby.
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Early the next morning, I heard a loud
voice in the hallway coming from the intercom. It was Sunday.
Someone was praying. I cracked open the door to hear the sound from
the speakers, and I rocked Ella as she fussed through the entire
prayer. I tried to pray along but couldn’t organize my thoughts in
time. The only three words I could make out were “Dear God” and
eventually, “Amen.”
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And so I prayed. Dear God, Amen.
Those were the only three words my exhausted soul could muster.
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And they were enough.
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<br />Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-14413336548847284532015-09-15T11:06:00.003-07:002015-09-15T11:06:46.069-07:00First Thing's First<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If I had a dollar for every draft I have waiting in my blog roll, I'd have...like...58 dollars. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I always thought I'd be one of those Pinterest girls who writes about All the Baby Things on a chalkboard. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And then life happened. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I'm totally ok with that. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I just keep telling myself, "What you have is enough." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Time. Pictures. Baby clothes. Ok...now I'm talking crazy. Are there ever enough baby clothes? ;) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I woke up this morning thinking about the blog. That's probably strange. It just felt like something I needed "to do" before we have this here baby. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I wondered if I thought I would have written a book by now...or if I'd be making money blogging by now or...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">???</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And it occurred to me that in this moment, I am exactly where I thought I would be at 33...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Making warm pies and sweet babies (except I thought my babies would be a little older by now- ha. We plan, God laughs, right?) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That is the call and it is strong, friends. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One of my friends who is a genius and free-lance writer said she feels like she is supposed to put down the writing for a while. Like...motherhood is the gig right now. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I hear that. I do. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Because my due date is so close, I am missing The Influence Conference this year and it's kind of killing me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I feel like I am a better person when I'm connecting with people and writing or at least THINKING about writing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">However...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Right around May, every.single.fiber.of.my.being started screaming, Ella's name. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I can't explain it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So. Here we are. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And because you're such peaches and you've read almost this entire thing...here's a sneak peak at Our Ella Baby's nursery. I am so in love with her room and I can't wait for her to see it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> The horse belonged to Tim's mom, and some of the animals strewn about were mine when I was little. The printable birds for the garland came from <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/theinknest">this Etsy Shop</a>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Anyway, I'd love to find the time to blog regularly someday. About motherhood. About daily living. About our sweet dogs and how much I love That Tim. I want to write about Ella and how much she has changed our lives. How The Lord used her first, tiny-sweet presence to bring healing into our marriage and make us better people. How could one little person already do SUCH BIG THINGS? I cry all the happy tears just thinking about it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Maybe someday. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I know this feels like a weird good-bye and I promise, it's definitely not. So many things about life feel up in the air. Even this post feels...unfinished? But, it occurs to me that it feels unfinished because it all is...it's not going to feel "finished" until Ella is here, I think. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Or maybe it won't but I'll be too tired to care. ;) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So much about trying to conceive and being pregnant brings me back to The World and how much we need Jesus. You know...the dots always connect. You can always find the parallels if you look hard enough. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> We will always be up at night, pacing the floors until Christ gets here. Isn't that right? Something is always going to feel "off." That traces allll the way back to The Old Testament. Prophesies. Advent. You know the drill. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You guys. Aren't I AMAZINGLY profound at 39 weeks pregnant. Maybe all the water retention and swelling is going to MY BRAIN! ;) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I can't help but feel like we are on the edge of something really great. You know? The Lord is always ready to use us wherever we are. Forever and ever amen. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I want to put off being "finished" with this post so badly because it is scary to think about "putting it down" indefinitely. Not that I ever blogged "that much" in the first place but...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You understand. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So I keep rambling. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But...for now...you know. First thing's first. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Bam! Ella Marie! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I WILL SEE YOU GUYS ON THE OTHER SIDE! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Love, extra long naps and a healthy dose of courage, </span><br />
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Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-86121875025928420942015-08-16T18:56:00.000-07:002015-08-16T18:57:56.660-07:00The Hardest Decision I've Ever had to Make <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I told my friend <a href="http://alltheeverythings.com/">Nice Courtney</a> that I felt like every draft I wrote was BEGGING people <b>to just look at me. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"10 reasons my husband is better than yours." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"8 Ways I keep my house clean" (still a mystery to me).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"This is a picture of my dog that's smarter than you." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm kidding, obviously. But I was annoyed with MYSELF. How could I hit publish on all this narcissistic garbage I wanted people to actually read and care about? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was stuck in this strange, self-conscious All About Me Bubble. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So, I turned to <a href="http://fatmumslim.com.au/sweet-ideas-50-things-to-blog-about/">Fat Mum Slim</a> for assistance. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One of her prompts was about The Hardest Decision You've Ever Made, and something clicked. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">About 11 months ago, I was hired to teach second grade at a nearby Christian School for the '14-'15 School Year, and I loved it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> The people there mourned with us when I worried I couldn't get pregnant and rejoiced when we shared our sweet news. They are some of the best people I know. My mailbox overflowed with blankets, gift cards, and baby shoes. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But the catch is, it has always been my <strike>dream</strike> calling to STAY HOME with our young kids. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I've never considered myself a fantastically decisive decision-maker (redundant? So true). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But throughout the course of my life, a few things have been clear...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> I should:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">- Stay in Cincinnati (Hello. I was 24 and homegirl wanted to move to CALIFORNIA).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">- Marry Tim</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">- Write Lots of Things</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">- Stay home and make warm pies and sweet babies.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am still learning not to question people's callings. Sometimes they don't make sense. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> The call to stay home with our baby was strong, but I felt the opportunity to continue teaching (should it appear) was too good to pass up. Small class sizes, a Christian environment in a field using my major, in a building that was extremely close to our house. The job ticked all the "boxes."</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And you can see how I was stuck. </span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I understood that while I had the pieces to the puzzle, God held the picture on the box.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"What if something happened to Tim and I needed the income?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"What if God wants me to teach there so our kids can get a private/Christian education?" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I had a lot of questions, but for the reasons listed above...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In the spring of 2015, I decided that I was going to continue working after we had our baby.</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My anxiety level was through the roof. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> But I dug my heels in and stayed the course. I was going to teach, assuming the enrollment numbers made sense, and I was offered a job (because it is a private institution, and the enrollment numbers vary, everyone always gets a one-year contract). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Three days before school let out, I was offered a spot, but it was not a full-time/all school-year position. It didn't make financial sense for me to commit to it AND try to find/pay childcare. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The decision had been made.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I would stay home with Ella. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The weary world rejoices. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <b> I can honestly say this is only the second time in 33 years that I have KNOWN what I wanted to do, but voluntarily agreed to do the opposite anyway if The Lord so willed.</b> (Usually God just has a way of matching up what I want to what He wants, so the surrender is often easy, I think. Oh my word, does that sound terrible?).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> The first time was when I agreed to stay in Cincinnati. Roughly 3 months after I said, "Yes" to my home state, I met That Tim. What a handsome reward. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> So. There you have it. This whole situation has seemed a bit dramatic (I moved out of my classroom in like, 2 days, which is kind of a feat considering it was a second floor classroom and I was roughly 5 months pregnant at the time). God bless my sweet, heroic parents. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's been a personal story and one I hold near to my heart.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Basically, I wasn't ready to write about it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I pray our bills get paid. I pray we keep the lights on and food on the table... <b>and I pray that when it's noon and all my Fancy, Working Friends are on their lunch breaks while I'm covered in breast milk and baby vomit that I won't take a single second for granted. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b>
Right now, every fiber in my being is screaming Ella's name, and that's a really beautiful thing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Love and have a grown-up, iced latte on me,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">*This topic is oh-so-tricky. I know so, so many women who are terrific moms and work outside the home. They are teachers and childcare workers and doctors and customer service representatives, and their work is so so important. I am forever grateful for the women who continue working so we can have access to the services we need. This is just a post about my personal calling and how it came to fruition for the time being. And if you're hoping to stay home with your babies, pray about it and stay true to your heart. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"The important thing is not to hurry- nothing good gets away." John Steinbeck. </span><br />
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<br />Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-4919628899465635402015-07-20T10:15:00.000-07:002015-07-20T10:15:21.633-07:0010 Ways I'm Planning to Enjoy my Pregnancy <span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaRubBynDwf2WHiW1Q7TC2U3YcCNdrkI185Z8EFAsCjKnBPE4MZA3DJ6hJPn0OC-iD7jeBNHFdFNyYgHEhgudAzlW061YQWINZ8ZyfqguasoQg018_zoKMwEm4JUUosWLOo5g4zwYy5ps/s1600/enjoypregnancypost.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaRubBynDwf2WHiW1Q7TC2U3YcCNdrkI185Z8EFAsCjKnBPE4MZA3DJ6hJPn0OC-iD7jeBNHFdFNyYgHEhgudAzlW061YQWINZ8ZyfqguasoQg018_zoKMwEm4JUUosWLOo5g4zwYy5ps/s400/enjoypregnancypost.jpg" width="298" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b> <a href="http://www.cartwheelsdownthehall.com/2015/07/do-unicorns-bite-post-about-unmet.html">In my last post</a>, I wrote about how hard it has been for me to really feel like I've gotten "into the swing of things" in terms of this glowing, magical pregnancy. ;) I can honestly say, this has been the most stressful time for Tim and me in terms of home-projects, careers, and organizing our finances, and NONE of that has to do with my pregnancy. It all just happened at once. Because God trusts my threshold for sanity way way too much. Ha. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> So, in true "elementary teacher fashion," I made a list. A plan of attack, if you will. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We've got roughly 9 weeks left, guys, and I'm planning to make these last weeks count- the funnest, most joyful, memorable weeks are yet to come. Someone please remind me of this when we are having a 98 degree, Indian summer in September and I am 4 days past my due date, weeping openly. Heehee...<br />
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<b>1. Do "all the things." </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I've had several "errands" hanging over my head. Most of them just require a five minute phone call. In less than 20 minutes, I could be free and clear and feeling SO MUCH BETTER. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I need to reschedule one of my pre-natal visits. Noel is in desperate need of a trip to the vet (allergy attack / ear & skin issues), I need to schedule a dentist appointment. You know the drill. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">How hard is it, guys? How hard is it? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Jen Hatmaker wrote a post called <a href="http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2013/04/02/stuck-in-the-doldrums-an-attack-plan">"Stuck in the Doldrums: An Attack Plan," </a>and her first suggestion was to "Make a List of Everything you are Behind on." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She says, "<span style="background-color: white; color: #4e4a41; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27.200000762939453px;">Unbelievable the weight that rolls off when the Behind Pile starts to shrink."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Ain't that the TRUTH!?!? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Um...I am supposed to be working on my Behind Pile and instead, I am blogging. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sh. Don't tell. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>2. Make a list and throw it away. (Kidding). </b> I've been so bad about getting ahead of myself during this pregnancy. You know...RESEARCH ALL THE THINGS. I've obsessed over everything from diaper bags to breastfeeding positions to what to pack for the hospital. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When I get too far ahead of myself, it makes me feel really overwhelmed. (i.e. I could probably wait a few more weeks before I really have to get serious about picking a diaper bag). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Also, I have ALL THESE LISTS. For example, I worry that we will both panic when it's time to leave for the hospital and forget to like, feed the dogs or something. I'm working on a small list to refer to when it's 3am and I'm having contractions, screaming in my living room (haha). And then, I'm going to just tuck it away in my calendar and NOT THINK ABOUT IT until September (feed the dogs, take out the garbage, put some cleaner in both toilets). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> HELLO CONTROL FREAK! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Also, it must be noted that on my list, I wrote, "Let dogs out to potty.....Let dogs back IN THE HOUSE." Haha...cause when we're in crisis mode, I'm sure the BACK IN part will be easy to forget. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>3. Cuddle my husband. </b>I just want to sit in our bed with his hand on my belly and snuggle the heck out of him! That's actually one of the first things I picture when I think about enjoying pregnancy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Watching the clock until he gets home. :) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>4. Make a playlist and listen to it regularly- </b>I'd like to make a labor playlist- just something that will feel like home and possibly relax me. I'd like to listen to it and pray at night so my brain automatically goes to "that place" when I plug it in on The Big Day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">FYI I am open to song suggestions. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>5. Date night!!! </b>I want a full-blown date night. We're talking dinner. Some kind of entertainment & dessert. I'm actually hoping we can squeeze in a few of these before Ella comes. </span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">6. Intentional rest/read/ hobbies. </span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> It is so easy to get distracted by so many meaningless "time fillers." For me, that looks like too much Netflix, HGTV, and social media browsing. I LOVE to read and craft, but it has been SO LONG since I have finished any sort of non-technology related hobby. How sad is that? I'd love to be intentional about working on some crafts and finishing a few "easy reads" before I make the long-term move to Baby Town. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">On that note, anybody need some peppers? :) I spent some time in my garden the other day, and I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that "I should be doing something else more worthwhile." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sigh. Trying to find the balance between productivity and intentional rest. (It always comes back to the "Behind Pile," doesn't it?) </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9GeZFgQpwGcriUPXrE3LauHxzBP8dbsmUn-mcMjg7nzWK-FO_xr-08o3KvLanWEGIiNZ9aWqeqDid-HwELXkUzMnblNeckvnkhNWklZPBykcWWgG2A71f_gRpYaB1BzDK0ZhhAPoHYeY/s1600/Screen+Shot+2015-07-17+at+8.26.21+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9GeZFgQpwGcriUPXrE3LauHxzBP8dbsmUn-mcMjg7nzWK-FO_xr-08o3KvLanWEGIiNZ9aWqeqDid-HwELXkUzMnblNeckvnkhNWklZPBykcWWgG2A71f_gRpYaB1BzDK0ZhhAPoHYeY/s640/Screen+Shot+2015-07-17+at+8.26.21+PM.png" width="466" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>7. Splurges-</b> I would love to splurge on some baby and/or self-care things. Ella needs <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Vulli-Sophie-giraffe-Natural-Rubber/dp/B000IDSLOG">Sophie the Giraffe </a>and this unreasonably expensive <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Little-Artist-Babys-First-Memory/dp/1495141640/ref=sr_1_1?s=instant-video&ie=UTF8&qid=1437181938&sr=8-1&keywords=babies+first+year+book">baby book</a>, and mama needs some Starbucks-for-no-reason. This is certainly a time to celebrate. I wanna say YES to a few small splurges. At 31 weeks pregnant, they just feel reasonable, yea?*</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiueU6Ms1MP8js7MLRLFOCLgWPZV6NCQOoqPxN5cdW2GqXitf9ni003kCQmjycDhA9o1PSI6I8Vpa76xJNyQd2UnU4tFclFaVs4qZQPxYboUeUbTLcu600D6vTsfxazRkKwoj4T1SY7RY8/s1600/Screen+Shot+2015-07-20+at+11.47.49+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiueU6Ms1MP8js7MLRLFOCLgWPZV6NCQOoqPxN5cdW2GqXitf9ni003kCQmjycDhA9o1PSI6I8Vpa76xJNyQd2UnU4tFclFaVs4qZQPxYboUeUbTLcu600D6vTsfxazRkKwoj4T1SY7RY8/s400/Screen+Shot+2015-07-20+at+11.47.49+AM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> While we're on the subject of splurges, this is a brownie flavored cake pop from my friend and fellow-blogger, Courtney (owner of the small business, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/bondbons">Bondbons</a>). You'll find out more about this Queen of <a href="http://alltheeverythings.com/">All The Everythings</a> in a future post of mine. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When I get to heaven, I think Jesus will be holding a bouquet full of her cake pops. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Chocolate mint, please! </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV5S__accB8dHtDgBxaSXaTboWlQN6nj_Ohq0ZFa4PB-7794EwZMNd-ZPK-_u9QNXNi-9LnqeH1LVePEZOiTXVY0dDec_L2IUvuZxpJILLJjtL9ObwFCsE8FCs5t8DSH0Jhy6KyVsYd70/s1600/Screen+Shot+2015-07-17+at+8.26.46+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV5S__accB8dHtDgBxaSXaTboWlQN6nj_Ohq0ZFa4PB-7794EwZMNd-ZPK-_u9QNXNi-9LnqeH1LVePEZOiTXVY0dDec_L2IUvuZxpJILLJjtL9ObwFCsE8FCs5t8DSH0Jhy6KyVsYd70/s640/Screen+Shot+2015-07-17+at+8.26.46+PM.png" width="474" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>8. Put Away Pinterest-</b> Pinterest is KILLING ME, guys! There are 58 different opinions out there and even MORE ways to flip yourself OUT! I read a VERY graphic breastfeeding article the other day like...whoa! I wanted to put my laptop in the freezer. (Do you remember the episode of FRIENDS where Joey gets scared and puts his book in the freezer)? :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Scary Pinterest articles aren't doing me any favors right now, guys. I love Pinterest just as much as the next gal, but Mama needs a break. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>9. Walk it out/ Dog Park -</b> I would love to get some sunshine with "The Girls" and head out for a walk around the neighborhood or our favorite nearby dog park (conveniently located near a Starbucks...two birds, one stone, guys). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>10. Photographic Evidence - </b>I'd really like to be more intentional about taking some pregnancy photos. I get extremely self-conscious about it because I worry that selfies are silly and my body just looks weird (actually, there are times when I feel really GREAT! My doctor and I are pleased with the amount of weight I've gained, and I feel like I'm carrying it mostly in my chest and belly- which is fine by me). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> And then there are days when I'm like, "WHAT IS HAPPENING!?!?! I WILL NEVER BE NAKED AGAIN!!!!!" If you've ever watched the show, Arrested Development, the thought of Tobias Funke as a "Never Nude" is probably running through your head. I am cracking up at the thought. Some cut-off jean shorts should do the trick. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5Ae5CTjMu33DwRvriu_TmtJZp5iAT9omE5CLJtAi0tIwdiyA_L1LWnNw9f-z5UXvlQVSm5IKXc3r72FnzjRoSC4KqQWU-DFr8lDAmm06x4OgZaSYrCxf9EXRHsYMGCg6mZHzcFVvZGG0/s1600/Screen+Shot+2015-07-20+at+11.20.48+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5Ae5CTjMu33DwRvriu_TmtJZp5iAT9omE5CLJtAi0tIwdiyA_L1LWnNw9f-z5UXvlQVSm5IKXc3r72FnzjRoSC4KqQWU-DFr8lDAmm06x4OgZaSYrCxf9EXRHsYMGCg6mZHzcFVvZGG0/s400/Screen+Shot+2015-07-20+at+11.20.48+AM.png" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">On that note, This Ella Belly is in the house. This was taken last Wednesday in the dressing room at The Gap Outlet. Yes. I now own that tank top, in case you were wondering. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Are you struggling to enjoy your season right now? Has your new house got ya' down? Is it raining everyday of your long-awaited beach vacation? Tell me all about it? What's the plan, guys. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Let's put in the effort it sometimes takes to enjoy our seasons. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>*I feel incredibly silly/guilty writing this post knowing that there are many pregnant women out there who are scared, alone and don't have access to modern healthcare. And I'm all, "I WANNA GET SOME STARBUCKS" I'm working on reconciling that in my heart and in my brain. It's times like these when I pray for open eyes, hearts, and loose hands around our wallets. I truly believe Jesus meets us where we are whether we are crawling through war-torn cities or weeping in our brand new SUV's. I pray He brings hope, comfort and joy to all of us...in many different forms.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Love & thanks for sticking with me guys, </span></div>
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<br />Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-46453778651225211792015-07-07T20:49:00.001-07:002015-07-07T20:50:34.790-07:00Do Unicorns Bite? A post about unmet expectations <div dir="ltr" style="color: #444444; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21.299999237060547px;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Why, Helloooooo. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Have we talked on here about me being pregnant, yet? Oh. my word. I can't even remember. I wrote a whole heck of a lot about me NOT being pregnant and then my body was apparently reading my blog...because one post was all it took and then lickety split...BABY. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's a girl. We are naming her Ella Marie. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We are thrilled. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Tim is so incredibly lovesick. Spent. Over. He is so so in love with our girl. He is going to be SUCH a good "girl" dad. He truly has the heart for it. Tough and Tender. Bless him. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> I'm fully prepared to be the "third wheel" for the rest of my life. ;) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I wanted to post 58 selfies of me standing all dainty in front of a chalkboard. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I wanted to tell you All the Things. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> But I decided to just get a million things down and then choose what seemed most important. How pretentious does THAT sound? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> THIS IS THE WRITING THAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT! ;) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The other day, I confided in a few of my friends that I have not really "enjoyed" this pregnancy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Hear me now. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Eight months ago, if I would have read a post from a pregnant blogger saying she wasn't "enjoying" her pregnancy, I would have promptly unfollowed her and then broken every single window in my house. Not kidding. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> If you are reading this, and you want to break the windows...just know...<b>this is a post about the sin in MY heart. Not yours. </b>You have every right to be mad. Because I am pretty much a terrible person, and you, my friend, are a peach. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Our lives this year have pretty much been chaos. There have been days when my pregnancy has kind of been a (happy) afterthought.* We SIMULTANEOUSLY tackled lots of home improvements (which have been great), but they took longer than we expected. I spent weeks feeling so tired and sick, climbing AROUND our oven in the dining room and making coffee on my living room end table. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">OUR KITCHEN CEILING WILL NOT STOP LEAKING. It. will.not.stop. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Two of our cars are currently un-drivable. (Is that a word)? #brokenradiator #powersteering</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> We unhooked our old heat/AC unit with the intention of replacing it and the weather heated up FAST. After several cancellations from the guy we hired to hook up the new one, we spent almost all of June with NO AC. Ohio temps. reached the mid 90's just FYI. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I feel like hell is a kitchen with no air conditioning and your only job is to keep microwaving Chinese food. </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was that bad. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> And we've faced some other huge, really scary/hard obstacles that I'm not going to share here (they are not health/baby/marriage related). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> I try really hard not to share the stories that aren't mine to share. And I sure as shoot ain't asking for permission to tell this one. Ha. Maybe a story for another day, yea?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But right now, we are facing The Impossible. It's so fun! ;) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> I knew getting pregnant would not "fix all the things," but...come on, guys. Part of me really did think that getting pregnant would do the trick. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <b>I would be kind. I would be gracious. I would lose every jealous bone in my body. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> In so many ways, our baby has brought peace and joy and healing...especially in our marriage. This has been a really sweet season for us. One that I wish I could write about in more detail. Again. Maybe someday. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In other ways, it has just <b>heightened all my badness.</b> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Anxiety. JEALOUSY. Fear. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> In the past, I've written about unicorns. I've said it once and I'll say it again. Whenever I get All The Good Things, I feel like it's God's way of sending a unicorn. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And it makes me incredibly ANXIOUS at times. In this little scenario, Baby=unicorn, you feel me? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">God was like, "Here. Here is this unicorn and it is awesome." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I am like, "Do unicorns carry diseases? How long do they live? Do unicorns BITE!?!?!" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(For the record, I'm not super worried about getting bitten by my baby..ha). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Maybe it should read more like, "WILL MY UNICORN GET EATEN BY A BEAR?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(Because I am totally afraid of my baby getting eaten by a wild animal. HOW DO YOU PEOPLE GO CAMPING? HOW DO YOU DO IT?) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And God is like, "I will take care of the unicorn. YOU JUST ENJOY THE UNICORN." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But, it's still hard. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Is this the part I should have erased? I feel like I should have erased all that. ^^^</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Any post that mentions unicorns is a good post, in my book. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Oh, that's right. Also. I am jealous. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And it is stupid. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Oh, you want examples of my badness? In the past, I have felt jealous because...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">People felt comfortable sharing their news earlier than we did (we waited until 12+ weeks for work, church and social media). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">People found out gender sooner than we did. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">People's bellies are cuter/smaller/bigger/rounder than mine. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Their nurseries are finished already. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Their ultrasound pics were clearer. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Shall I go on? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> All this to say...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> I decided to tackle planting a garden this summer...while pregnant. I purchased everything and got it unloaded and was like..."I really don't have the energy to do this anymore." Ha. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But...garden stuff is expensive and I felt too guilty just leaving everything to rot in the sun and die. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So I prayed. And I tilled (by hand) and I dug and I planted. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I had every intention of leaving a large, blank space for seeds. SEEDS! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Aaaaannnnnd the seed planting didn't happen. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So I would wade through the tall, itchy grass and fight with the hose and <b>dwell in my own discontent</b>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Weeds. Dry dirt. Barren land. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And the seed-planting would hang over my head. Like a mid-term paper I hadn't written yet. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And one day, God said my name. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I can always tell He Means Business when he reaches out with those two, abrupt syllables.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Holly." </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">...</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"When are you going to get to the point where ENOUGH IS ENOUGH?"</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is a good question...one I don't really have an answer for. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So. I relent. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>"Alright, already."</i> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Oh and isn't that agreement just so full of<i> grace and gratitude? </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Alright, already." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Yes. There you have it. The most humble-sounding surrender ever. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But it is a surrender nonetheless. </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So...maybe it counts? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Love and this is not the year for carrots, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">* A couple things...by "happy afterthought" I mean...you unpack your newly remodeled kitchen with no air conditioning in the house and you get in bed, sweaty and exhausted and finally think, "Oh. Hooray. I forgot I was pregnant!" I really do love being pregnant and we are so so so fortunate for our daughter's excellent health. I am looking for some practical ways to be able to say I've enjoyed being pregnant. I don't want to take this time for granted. Please don't misunderstand anything I've written above. Ella- if you are reading this in the year is 2030...I love you dearly. You were my dream come true. Now get off the internet, and go play outside. ;) </span></div>
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Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-86186705365684878662015-05-01T08:00:00.000-07:002015-05-01T08:00:06.554-07:00New Old Music <span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> As Tim and I have been cleaning out some of our things, we've found a lot of old CD's. He recently whipped out my super old iPod which was quite a trip. It is so funny seeing a burly, contractor listening to Angry Girl Music from 2005 in a big, red pickup truck. ;) It's made me realize how much I miss listening to and discovering new music. The only redeeming quality of my old, nearly hour long commute was the opportunity to listen to really good music everyday. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So. Color me inspired. Let's talk music. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Maybe I am really late getting in on this, but have you heard of NPR's Tiny Desk Concerts? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Oh my word. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This one is from Deathcab for Cutie. Which is, hands down, my favorite band. Yes. Please. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When I was student teaching in San Diego (circa 2004), my (very hip) cooperating teacher gave me a copy of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transatlanticism">Transatlanticism</a>.<span id="goog_1511908997"></span><span id="goog_1511908998"></span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/"></a> I listened to it on the flight home, and I was hooked. See also, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Postal_Service">Postal Service</a>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Two of my favorite songs begin at 9:23 and 14:00. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/mi6uRT7PxTQ?list=RDmi6uRT7PxTQ" width="560"></iframe></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You're welcome. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Love and what are you listening to these days? </span>Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-25434772781474752012015-04-29T20:33:00.000-07:002015-04-29T20:33:56.196-07:00Your Own Horribleness: a note to my friends who are waiting<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So. I know you know the first part of this story, but I need an intro. anyway, K?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> In January, I started writing about our struggle to conceive and it opened the door to many, many new connections. Women reached out... and they were kind and beautiful. They were smart and brave and gracious. And I was overjoyed. I was inspired. FRIENDS!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One of the most surprising things about blogging has been how it has encouraged people to tell THEIR stories.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>And they are stories that need to be told.</i>..even if they are just via private Facebook message or email to me or someone else.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I <i>really</i> love that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">After I wrote about our struggle to conceive, I connected with a lot of women who said,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Girl. I feel you. Me too."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And literally, 24 days into this new "club," I found out I was pregnant. I felt like I had been invited into a room full of starving women, and unknowingly showed up with my own loaf of bread. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So...before I write anymore about this pregnancy, I just wanted to post a ...buffer..(?)...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> I guess. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Or an internet hug?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Because... I dunno. I'm happy and happy and sad.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Honestly? I still mourn those days, guys. There is a weird part of me that still aches. Like a phantom limb. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The other day, I was out (for the life of me, I cannot remember where this interaction took place), and someone was showing off their newborn, and for a split second, I was really sad. And then I got happy again. And I just thought, "Six months ago, this would have killed me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Oh, my word. Am I the WORST? First, I am sad because I'm not pregnant and I'm still sad about not being pregnant when I am ALREADY PREGNANT. Will you guys just quit being friends with me already? Why are you even still here!?!?! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Oh. And also, I feel guilt. So. There's that. Guilt. Hello, old friend. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As women, aren't we wracked with guilt? I mean...are you? I am...and I am so intrigued by this. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I think I could give an orphan $1,000 and still find a way to feel bad about it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So...so far we've established that I'm an incredibly generous & humble martyr who would make incredible sacrifices for her friends and feels "OMG so guilty" when good things happen to her.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Oh. Did I also mention that I'm incredibly humble? ;) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Do you remember that episode of FRIENDS where Phoebe tries to find a truly selfless act? (The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I let a bee sting me so it could look tough in front of all it's little, bee friends!"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(Does that Friends reference connect with the rest of this post? Hm. I don't care. I'm leaving it!)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So. I say all that because <b>I'm still here</b>. Consider this your Public Service Announcement.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Anytime anyone with babies would say, "Oh...we struggled for X amount of years or we had to have this and that treatment. I know how hard it is." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I would get kind of irritated and think to myself, "You are of no help to me because YOU HAVE A BABY!!!!!!" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So. I say "I'm here" but I also say, "It's ok if you kind of feel like you probably want to punch me. Do not feel guilty about that."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> In all seriousness, I'm not going to write this on the internet, obviously, but in private, I can give you some more details about what I think finally helped me "get pregnant" (<a href="http://www.ovusoft.com/">Taking Charge of Your Fertility, holla!</a>) and what we were hoping our plan of action was going to look like when we talked about going in for treatments (I have some super close friends who sought treatments and I did a ton of my own research. Let's chat). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I feel like I was a crazy, horrible person during much of our journey. Even if you just want to write me and tell me about your own horribleness, I'm here. You get no judgement from me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">*Also, it must be noted...I have ZERO intentions of turning this into a "mommy blog." YES! Some of it is going to be about our adorable baby (again, with the humility), but I was a lifestyle blogger long before I was a mom. Dog photos and DIY's abound. So...in the words of our beloved NKOTB..."Please don't go, Girl."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Oh my word. Joey. With a yellow daffodil. I'M DYING! He was like, 14 and she was like...23...file this under, Things you could get away with in 1988. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Love and I am rooting hard for you,</span><br />
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<br />Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-80725799763275631802015-04-20T18:22:00.001-07:002015-04-20T18:23:46.150-07:00Life in Ten Pics. <div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So. In case you are not following me on any social media whatsoever... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I told God that if I wasn't pregnant by 2015, I was going to start blogging about our struggle to have a baby. In Dec., I started a draft. in early January, I hit "publish." I was pregnant already and just didn't know it. God is good...and also slightly insane. ;) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We're having a baby! :) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Trust me. No one was more surprised by this than we were. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">More later, but for now...bump pics., cravings, and my family's newest rocking chair. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(not eaten together...) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Also...on a totally unrelated note...I just really like this dog. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Love and for the first time ever...heartburn!</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogger.com%2Fblogger.g%3FblogID%3D4535149725659813983%23editor%2Fsrc%3Ddashboard&media=https%3A%2F%2Fimages-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com%2Fgadgets%2Fproxy%3Furl%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252F2.bp.blogspot.com%252F-eZmDGK2nxGM%252FVTWayFy1xII%252FAAAAAAAAJ3c%252FTdIb6K3gZNU%252Fs1600%252FIMG_9611.JPG%26container%3Dblogger%26gadget%3Da%26rewriteMime%3Dimage%252F*&xm=h&xv=sa1.35&description=" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(data:image/png; border: none; cursor: pointer; display: none; height: 20px; left: 203px; opacity: 0.85; position: absolute; top: 2641px; width: 40px; z-index: 8675309;"></a><a href="http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogger.com%2Fblogger.g%3FblogID%3D4535149725659813983%23editor%2Fsrc%3Ddashboard&media=https%3A%2F%2Fimages-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com%2Fgadgets%2Fproxy%3Furl%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252F2.bp.blogspot.com%252F-eZmDGK2nxGM%252FVTWayFy1xII%252FAAAAAAAAJ3c%252FTdIb6K3gZNU%252Fs1600%252FIMG_9611.JPG%26container%3Dblogger%26gadget%3Da%26rewriteMime%3Dimage%252F*&xm=h&xv=sa1.35&description=" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(data:image/png; border: none; cursor: pointer; display: none; height: 20px; left: 203px; opacity: 0.85; position: absolute; top: 2641px; width: 40px; z-index: 8675309;"></a>Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-30738073423112212432015-02-23T16:33:00.000-08:002015-02-23T16:37:19.605-08:0010 Things to Say When Your Friend's Not Getting Pregnant <span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I started this post a LONG time ago and honestly lost momentum. Honestly. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://www.cartwheelsdownthehall.com/2015/01/whole-highly-favored-post-about-not_3.html">After initially posting about our struggle to conceive,</a> I suffered from what <a href="http://brenebrown.com/">Brene Brown</a> would call, "A Vulnerability Hangover." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I had bled all over the internet, and I wanted to run away limping.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But I also found that talking about "the crazy" really helped to settle "the crazy." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And this post in my drafts folder kept hanging over my head. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I have written and erased and written and erased. And pretty much erased 3/4 of the intro. Which I might add, included calling myself "The Mayor of Crazytown" and requesting cupcakes at my intervention. ;)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> But the one sentence remains...</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Maybe this post can be a tiny plank in a very long bridge that connects people who are hurting to people who don't know what to say.</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So. Here we are. Lord help us all</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">1. <b>Use the word family.</b> People often refer to having a baby as "starting a family." And they often ask when someone is going to "start a family." This can kind of stink for people who don't have kids. We don't have kids, but we have a family, and I LOVE my little family. I'm so proud of us, and I'm so glad they're mine. Talk to your friend about her FAMILY. Say nice things. Ask questions. That one seemingly small act that can really be a catalyst for healing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">2. <b>"I accept your weirdness." </b> Your friend totally has the unfulfilled need to nurture something right now. And it aches. Yo. It aches. So...that need probably gets *somewhat* met in seemingly odd places. Like right now...I am "overwintering" plants. Read. I am stupidly optimistic. I brought some plants in before the first frost...you know. Just hoping for the best. Things did not go well with the dahlia's. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> I was chatting with Tim the other day, and he looked at my second plant and said,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Yea. Your geraniums are gonna be fine."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I'll be darned if that wasn't like, the most loving thing a person could say. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I DO NOT HAVE BABIES YOU GUYS I HAVE GERANIUMS!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My favorite thing in the world is when people ask about my dogs. I was on the phone with one of my friends a few weeks ago, and over the phone, I could hear her husband ask about my dogs. Bless him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The other day, one of my friends left a Facebook comment and called my dog "beautiful." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Oh my word. <b>The most loving think you can do for a childless woman is to call her dog beautiful.</b> I am being dead serious. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">People who cannot have babies often become crazy dog people. Can we all just get over it? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">About 18 months ago, I got strangely attached to a stinkbug that had taken up residence in between our plastic and fabric shower curtains. (((Happy New Year, Lyle!)))</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Do you guys remember the article about the tiger who lost her cubs and became depressed so the zoo gave her piglets dressed in tiger vests to care for? DO YOU REMEMBER? (Upon further research, I don't think this is the entire truth, but just stick with me, guys). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm sure her little tiger friends were in the background like, "Oh MY WORD, You guys! Harriet is nursing TINY PIGS WEARING VESTS!!!"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And everyone else was like, "Hey. Be cool. She's in a weird place right now. Leave her be." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That's right, people. Leave her be. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">3. <b>Any decision you make is going to be the right one.</b> Crazy Baby Stuff takes a lot of money, time and EMOTIONAL ENERGY (fertility treatments, home remedies, etc.). It's easy to get "stuck." Sometimes, we just need someone to encourage us to make a decision AND reassure us that ANY decision is going to be the right one. Even if you're not sure about this. Please just SAY IT. ;) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sometimes, the decision <i>not</i> to act is...in itself...a decision. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Last weekend, I had a sweet friend tell me to "Put my big girl panties on and deal with it." She used expletives and everything! It kind of frightened me (haha)...but it helped.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">4.<b> You are not alone.</b> Holiest of all holy cows. Um...loneliest road ever? For sure. I tried giving examples, but all the stories made me sound like a bitter, old, childless hag. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">4 1/2. <b>I prayed for you when... </b>Over the past few weeks, I had several friends say to me, "I was praying for you in the car the other day..." or... "I couldn't sleep the other night, and I was praying for you." This is a habit I'm trying to adopt more in my own life. How many of us have said, "Oh, I'll pray for you." Only to later forget? GUILTY! SORRY! I'm trying to be more intentional in my relationships as they pertain to my prayer life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You get the idea. I think this is applicable in all situations. Not just infertility. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">5. <b> My kids love you/ thanks for loving my kids. </b>Sometimes, I feel totally inept around young moms and their babies. My friends are all like...up at 6am on a Saturday busy keeping children alive, and I'm like...uh...I brushed my teeth and watched Netflix...?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It feels good to hear, "Hey. Childless friend...I would trust you not to drop my infant. Thanks and good job." ;) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">6. <b>You are not a horrible person.</b> Uh...if you have a child under the age of 3, I probably have a voodoo doll of you in my closet somewhere. I'm totally kidding. It's a BABY EXPLOSION out there, folks. My closet is not that big.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">All joking aside, one of the hardest parts of this journey is the fact that it gives you somewhat uncontrollable, negative feelings about your mom-friends. When they have babies, you are simultaneously filled with LOVE! SO MUCH LOVE! And then you are blindsided with...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">GUILT, JEALOUSLY AND RAGE!!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">THEN MORE GUILT!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">THEN DID I MENTION THE LOVE??? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Needless to say, it's a very confusing, exhausting time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I think we walk around feeling 10% heartbroken, 5% jealous and 85% guilty for all of the above.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's that 5% that will get you down every time, am I right? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We need some grace. Actually, we need lots of grace. I have my fair share of friends I need to call back.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">7.<b> You are made in his image and you are perfect.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Your friend feels like a broken, old, busted up mess. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When she stands before The Father, He doesn't see her has broken. He sees her as whole and highly favored.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Tell her that. Text her that. Write it on her bathroom mirror. Slip a note in her car. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Whole & Highly Favored. Does a more comforting thought exist? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">8. <b>Someday, this won't matter.</b> Infertility is a hole that is just really hard to see out of. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> I am very much looking forward to my late 30's/early 40's. Ha. By then, I know I'll have more peace about whatever has happened. We'll either have kids...or we won't. And if we don't, I am very much looking forward to being the wealthiest, most well-rested person in my entire circle of friends. ;) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But...I am so glad my marriage is going to survive this. I am so glad my friendships can thrive through this. The more the merrier, am I right? ALL ARE WELCOME TO TAKE RESIDENCE IN CRAZY TOWN! Moms and non-moms alike!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(((And also, when I say "someday this won't matter," I mean...you know... heaven and stuff))). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<b><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Aren't you glad the this is not the end of the story? The story ends with The Kingdom of Heaven. Beauty. Redemption & Grace.</span></i></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><i><br /></i></b>
<b><i>Forever & Ever Amen. </i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">9. <b>God wants to make you whole. Your faith will make you well. </b>I recently heard a sermon about how Jesus didn't just want to heal people physically, He wanted to heal them spiritually at the same time. I really loved that. He wants us to live full, whole, spiritually healthy lives. He's on your team. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">10. <b>Your road is hard and I'm proud of you</b>. After my November Meltdown of 2014, I had two friends check up on me the following week (if someone is weeping in your car, it's probably a good idea to follow up. ;) ) They both told me they were proud of me. No statement has ever made me feel more safe in a friendship. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Don't tell your friend, "Life without kids is easy." Your friend is struggling to have kids, and THAT IS HARD! No amount of 11am Saturday wake up calls is going to fix that. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's true, on Saturdays, she gets to sleep in, but <i>she also desperately wishes she had a reason to get up. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Love*</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">*and a giant fist bump to those of you who are struggling. You are stronger and more courageous than you realize.</span>Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-62484075242208941132015-02-12T17:11:00.000-08:002015-02-12T17:14:51.883-08:00Unicorns Make Me Nervous: A post about God & anxiety <span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Hi. I have issues with anxiety. I feel like it's just time to call it what it is, you know?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Let's make a list, shall we?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">HOUSE FIRES!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">BEAR ATTACKS!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">KIDNAPPINGS!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">DOGNAPPINGS!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">SIDS!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">BABIES IN HOT CARS!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">STRANGER DANGER!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(sidenote: I worry a lot about our unborn kids. You know, the ones we "might not be able to have" / can't afford to adopt) ;) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">MY HUSBAND FALLING OFF LADDERS!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">MY HUSBAND FALLING OFF ROOVES!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">MY HUSBAND FALLING OFF SCAFFOLDING!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">MY HUSBAND NOT EATING ENOUGH FRESH PRODUCE!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Oh my word. What else?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That's like, not even 1/4 of the list.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I worry that I am not accomplishing enough at my job. I constantly second guess my decisions. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> You know when, like...a teenager gets in a car accident because they are driving too fast, and people sigh and say, "People never think it's going to happen to THEM."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Are you kidding me? People like this exist? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Whenever I am given an anxiety-worthy scenario, I ALWAYS think it's going to happen to ME!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> I also feel like it becomes a problem when something GOOD happens, and I somehow find a way to twist it with worry. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> I feel like you could give me a unicorn that poops 100 dollar bills and somehow, I would find a way to make that situation scary. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Quick. Before we move on. I need you to picture your unicorn. Mine's white with a turquoise and hot pink horn. By the way, if your unicorn is anything other than white or pastel, then we need to have a serious conversation. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> And by pooping, I don't mean gross horse poop. I mean, you walk out to visit the unicorn every morning, and there's just crisp bills lying all over the floor like hay. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You know what I mean? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Wait.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Do unicorns eat hay?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What do unicorns eat? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm thinking donuts with sprinkles? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I don't even know what my UNICORN WILL EAT!?!?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You can see how we have a problem, here. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I am slowly starting to realize that it's not so much a problem with anxiety as it is a problem with <i>sin.</i></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></i>
Kablamm-o!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b>
I feel like maybe if I knew God better, I wouldn't be quite so freaked out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You know, like I am 99% of the time. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I look at people that I know who are deeply rooted in Christ and I feel like...<i>maybe they aren't rattled by the same stuff that rattles me...?</i> #bearattacks</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have been...like... FACE DOWN in the book of Psalms since November. Psalm 29 is just ALL about God's power and how He can like, shake mountains...and how His voice can strip the forests bare. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And it kind of blew me away. I had never read that about God until now. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am also finding a direct correlation between my tendency to intentionally look for and express gratitude and my anxiety level. < Lots of words in that sentence (!)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The more grateful I am, the less I freak out. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Here. I made you a blurry line graph. You're welcome. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8jernfZtrBpDStHa4m71QI2T-ohpKTqQh8FVmYyH2FjpmCxRHmSs3OTXCZGC4fgCIC1cL1y5Fu0Cj2Wi6kitf_cr1AJ76yNtGyDFYODtBKchMjlq09VxEpt6NfoZaMnaXGJFBpeTbSLk/s1600/Screen+Shot+2015-02-11+at+8.33.57+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8jernfZtrBpDStHa4m71QI2T-ohpKTqQh8FVmYyH2FjpmCxRHmSs3OTXCZGC4fgCIC1cL1y5Fu0Cj2Wi6kitf_cr1AJ76yNtGyDFYODtBKchMjlq09VxEpt6NfoZaMnaXGJFBpeTbSLk/s1600/Screen+Shot+2015-02-11+at+8.33.57+PM.png" height="306" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">See what I mean? Gratitude is a nice distraction. :) It keeps me centered. It helps me focus. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Oooommmmm.... That is the sound of me meditating. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I used to be really diligent about praying with the acronym ACTS (or CATS)... I need to get into this habit again.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication</span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But I often struggled with the <i>adoration</i> part. It felt cheesy and lame. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Why does God need ME to tell HIM how awesome He is? Does He just need an ego boost? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But I do not think the "hallowed be your name" part is for his sake. I think it is for mine. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">God does not need the reminder. I do. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Sometimes, I picture myself walking into a coffee shop with all my STUFF. Work stuff. Money stuff. Home stuff. Bear Attack Stuff. And God is there in the booth in front of me, and I just shove it all under His feet. Out of my line of vision. I stand up, winded because the bear put up a fight, but I look at God and God looks at me, and He says... "This is all mine, now. The days is yours." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The day is mine... to do whatever I want with and not worry about a thing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's true, you know. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibGdXg8iWrriX-0XEQptKC1IclEvrZ3p_BtiMMbGf2fVXs9awNF8fAbAGsFpBErsfBQrFa9MTmjstbNLQfpvV996EmH6gcZ9EmFJjg9q0Vvu181VxitGqJ83ZtZk9Ckqu_zOuCCk4CN_o/s1600/1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibGdXg8iWrriX-0XEQptKC1IclEvrZ3p_BtiMMbGf2fVXs9awNF8fAbAGsFpBErsfBQrFa9MTmjstbNLQfpvV996EmH6gcZ9EmFJjg9q0Vvu181VxitGqJ83ZtZk9Ckqu_zOuCCk4CN_o/s1600/1.png" height="640" width="426" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Love & the day is yours,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
Holly http://www.blogger.com/profile/00206322571532656042noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4535149725659813983.post-55660222301147220562015-01-03T10:25:00.001-08:002015-01-03T10:31:34.700-08:00Whole & Highly Favored: A Post about not getting pregnant <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH4By3dZKwpmyDK02miD5QGEgxo_LsJddKE5-NccsPs7m07vUAL_Bom0WhkuKO8q7B-BfYlYzvHCscADsYh54DP52H4_sMDsIRNd2Ch5g5R9tw4p7MrqjUWdq9xmuSoQQoWHxT50PGGHI/s1600/cartwheelpregnant1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH4By3dZKwpmyDK02miD5QGEgxo_LsJddKE5-NccsPs7m07vUAL_Bom0WhkuKO8q7B-BfYlYzvHCscADsYh54DP52H4_sMDsIRNd2Ch5g5R9tw4p7MrqjUWdq9xmuSoQQoWHxT50PGGHI/s1600/cartwheelpregnant1.jpg" height="640" width="530" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times-Roman, serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> <span style="font-size: large;">I
do not know how to begin this post, but my macbook keys have been
pumping their little fists and chanting "Write! Write! Write"
for a long time, and I told God that if I made it to 2015 without a
baby, I would start writing about it (a little). With Tim’s
consent, of course. </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">AND
HERE WE ARE, GUYS! </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And
I have prayed and prayed and prayed about this. <i>Should I write
about this? What are my motives? Do I want pity? Do
I want attention?</i></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And
God was kind of like, </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"Holly. Get humble. Stop being
a weirdo. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Just start writing about this and stop making it
about you."</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Duly
Noted.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I
DON'T KNOW, GUYS! I JUST DO WHAT I'M TOLD! </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> A
year ago, I thought I was pregnant. I was just shy of one year
off birth control. We had lived everywhere from "Actively
Trying" to "Not Trying/Not preventing" in terms of
conception, so I shouldn't have been excited.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">But
my period was later than <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/confidential/mariah-carey-irks-nbc-skipping-christmas-tree-taping-article-1.2032238">Mariah Carey at an NBC Christmas Rehearsal</a>
(I've heard things, guys).</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And
I thought that was going to be our story. All the clichés .
You know, you really aren't supposed to "worry" until
after you've been trying for a year, and we were one month shy of
that.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"Because,
guys. God's so funny like that, and His timing is perfect..."</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And
blah. blah. blah.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And
Tim was getting excited, too. I did the whole song and dance. I
took 100 pregnancy tests and called the doctor.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">But
I wasn't pregnant. Throw all the things...cry all the tears. You know
the drill.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And
I spent the last week of 2013 with my head in my hands and Ellie
Goulding's </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://grooveshark.com/#!/search?q=ellie+goulding+dead+in+the+water">"Deadin the Water"</a> on repeat.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And
I haven't gotten pregnant since.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> Tim
and I often joke that he is very OLD TESTAMENT. He is the The
King of Hard Truths. He's all HAND ME MY SWORD! I'm not
kidding. He asked for a legit sword for Christmas. STAY
OFF OUR LAWN, YOU RASCALS!</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And
I am like allll about The New Testament. Give me the sweet,
soft stories of Jesus. No plagues. No beheadings. I'll
take my quail and manna to go, thanks.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">On
the same side of that, I am very much "Your Kingdom come."
Right now, I am taking the wreckage and trying desperately to
bend it into an arrow that will point us closer to Jesus.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I’m
also in the “eat all the sugary cereal and weep into the bowl”
phase of our baby-making journey. I'm kidding. Kind of.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">If
the bowl is mostly 2% milk, but also partially filled with human
tears...does that lower the fat content? I'm asking for a friend.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">While
Tim is very much, "Your will be done." He is drawing a map
to get us out of here...as in, "Unless The Lord wills it, we'll
never have kids."</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You
can see how we would have problems there, huh? ;)</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And
this whole busted up mess is really just about two broken people
trying to point each other home. MARRIAGE, am I right?</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometime
in Mid-November of this year, I kind of cracked. Ok. I really
cracked. Or I don't know...I like, melted or something.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Do
Americans have a word for "Lost all hope and wept in all of my
friends' cars?"</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Cause
that's what I did.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">At
one point, I sent a message to one of my friends that said, “I’M
SORRY I WAS LATE PICKING YOU UP... I WAS WEEPING INTO MY CLOSET!” </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> The
past year has been incredibly lonely, but I’ve honestly never felt
more supported or loved by my sweet, beautiful friends than I did
when I went absolutely bananas last fall.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And
I think the overall message has been, "HELP IS ON THE WAY."</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">REDEMPTION</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I
wrote several of the friends I've met online through <a href="http://theinfluencenetwork.com/">The InfluenceNetwork.</a></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"I
AM PRETTY SURE THE SHIP IS SINKING AND I JUST NEED HELP!"</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> And
they came running. They juggled midnight feedings, homeschool
schedules, and a hundred other "mom tasks" and built for me a safe and
sturdy life raft. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Lord knows I couldn't do it on my own.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My
bestie met me in Kroger parking lot on the way to pick up her baby
when I just needed a breather. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Three
of my best pals from college listened intently while I sobbed my way
through our 10 year college reunion (but I really did have an amazing
time, my friends). </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes,
I think we are the blindfolded children holding the pin and the tail
while God is the poster with the donkey.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And
he's all "A LITTLE TO THE LEFT!"</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And
we're all "YOUR LEFT OR MY LEFT?"</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Honestly,
it has been hard for me to think about "Making Things Happen,"
and </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"Goal Setting" in the New Year.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> I
feel like the approach for 2013 was very GOD GIVES US THE DESIRES OF
OUR HEARTS. For that reason, there's a onesie from The Baby Gap
with the words "I Love Mommy" embroidered on the front
shoved somewhere in the bottom of one of my dresser drawers.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">And
there were parts of 2014 where I basically said, “Uh...God? Don’t
bother me and I won’t bother you, ok?” </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">Now...HEAR
ME OUT, people...I have sought lots of wise counsel on this one and
it’s getting BETTER! </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">I
have <a href="http://blessedisshe.net/">a Bible reading plan</a> I love and an ever-growing prayer life. </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">AWAY
WITH YOUR HOLY WATER...THERE IS NO CAUSE FOR ALARM. ;) </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> For
a while, Tim and I had the tradition of writing down the things we
wanted in the coming year and shoving them in the toe of our
stockings as a way to enjoy and reflect the following year.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It
has not proven to be as meaningful or fun as I imagined it would be
when we started.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I
don't wanna do it this year. Cause I can't bear to put one more
neon colored post-it note with the words "a baby or pregnancy"
in the trash.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The
other day, I asked Tim, "What are you looking forward to the
most in 2015?"</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Because
I am "the girl" in our relationship and it's my job to ask
the girly questions.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And
Tim said, "I'm not going to answer because I don't even know
what's going to happen."</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And
I was like, "Boooyyyy, I hear you. I hope we at least make it to
the ocean this summer."</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> I
think I could be in exactly the same spot next year and still be
happy. My tryglicerides and overall cholesterol have dropped.
The living room is now this really pretty color of light green that I
kind of can't stop looking at. The coffee's on. My sister
keeps making these beautiful, blonde haired babies. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And
of course, there is beauty in not knowing, am I right? Cliché after
cliché...maybe if we just keep our expectations low, we won't be
disappointed, yea?</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">That's
like...the opposite of a <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks">TED talk</a>. I should write a book about
not caring about anything in 2015. Ha.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I
saw this on Tumblr the other day and just had to re-post it. So
sad/funny.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBcYerTrLuPUEoWQTeztR6iX29saXz9Qf60gj-K945igpRBIWq3pOFQnPwPXr9pZgmcXQ_qBFtFwaWYswFUXJ3nTmW8YdPqoLkRz9DJOdwKaf8p44_Z4p7iFfRYXL9sUolWugQZH95IBw/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-12-28+at+11.18.16+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBcYerTrLuPUEoWQTeztR6iX29saXz9Qf60gj-K945igpRBIWq3pOFQnPwPXr9pZgmcXQ_qBFtFwaWYswFUXJ3nTmW8YdPqoLkRz9DJOdwKaf8p44_Z4p7iFfRYXL9sUolWugQZH95IBw/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-12-28+at+11.18.16+PM.png" height="287" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Ok.
I feel like this was meant to be kind of light and funny, and it's
taking a turn for the worst. Ha.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">WHERE
DOES THAT LEAVE US!?!?!</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I kind of wouldn’t trade this road for anything. Is that insane? INSANITY? YES! </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And also proof that God exists.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">Well,
this is the part where I get snarky. Are you excited? Are you
surprised? </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> A
while ago, I read a post where someone briefly mentioned redemption,
and it was over THE SILLIEST thing. I don’t mean to diminish
anyone’s pain but...God does not need to redeem our mistaken coffee
orders, you guys. He just doesn’t. Buy a new cup and get over it.
That kind of stuff drives Tim crazy. You are not a martyr because
the guy at Macy’s told you “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry
Christmas.”</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;"> <b>All
that to say, I am so glad I will experience the depth of God’s
power and love and ability to redeem through this struggle. I’m so
glad I am outgrowing the “redeem my cold coffee” camp as harsh
and egotistical as it sounds. </b><br /><br />I seriously can’t find a
nicer/less jerky way to write that while still giving it the power it
deserves. </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> <b> Now,
I can look back and see that the loss I felt last year is
representative of the heartache God felt when He lost Jesus. I ache
for a baby the way the world aches for Christ and He for us in
return.</b></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;"><i>And
I’m thankful for that perspective. </i></span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;"><b> This
year has taught me that no matter how absolutely smashed up and
broken and shameful and embarrassed I feel, when I stand before The
Father, He sees me as whole & highly favored. </b> </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> <b>And
this year, I can stand next to my husband with empty arms and a weary
heart and still believe in the promise and power of Redemption.</b></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> And
I am also exhaustedly wise (?) enough to know that Redemption will
not necessarily equal "baby." And the past 6 or so
weeks have been about making peace with that. Even if it
friggin' kills me, guys.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;"> </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Soon,
I am posting a list of Ten Things to Say When Your Friend's Not
Getting Pregnant.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">Kind
of like... conversation starters, if you will. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"> I wanted to add my story to it to give you all some context instead of being like, </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">"Surprise! Here's this random post about something that may or may not apply to me. Just act natural." </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And
I tried to add my story to it, but guys...it was getting long.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">So
this is...Part 1, I guess. </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">In closing, this
is the last of my snarky-ness, I promise. <br /><br /> Please be sensitive
with your comments. You know, maybe this isn’t the place for
“fertility suggestions.” or “I was infertile and then I tried
this and got pregnant” stories. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">Maybe there’s not enough
relaxing/adopting orphaned babies/green tea/lying on
your back for 30 minutes/etc. in the world to get me pregnant, and that’s
ok, you know? <br /><br />Cause all the TRYING...it’s like...hard,
guys. </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">So,
please don’t flood my inbox with herbal tea recommendations and
directions for how to buy ovulation predictor kits in bulk. </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">This is not
my first rodeo, guys. </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">And
THAT rodeo drove me CRAZY and was not good for my mental
health/marriage and I’ll gladly get a little bold/snarky in order
to protect those things. </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">Also,
I am smack dab in the middle of the book <a href="http://www.tcoyf.com/">Taking Charge of YourFertility,</a> and it’s amazing, thank you very much for the
suggestion. </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">Also,
I hope I am healthier/faster/stronger/lighter (?) this time next
year. </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">Lastly,
I hope nothing in this post has made anyone feel bad/uncomfortable/sad/whatever. </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">I’m
in a really lonely season right now. The last thing I want to do is
alienate people. </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">PLEASE
BE FRIENDS WITH ME! ;) </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> I
know I joke a lot about weeping. Sometimes, my "blogging
voice" thinks it's funny to exaggerate emotions. Please do
not be alarmed.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm
very sad and I'm grateful and I'm fine and I am learning that it is
possible to be all of those at the same time.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I
am so glad that I can be scared/sad/anxious/insane, and God will
still work.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Lastly,
I would have died 1,000 deaths by now without That Tim. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Hug his
neck next time you see him.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">K?
Thanks. Love you. Bye. </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">Hooray!
I think it’s ok to say "Hooray" about this! </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">You are
catching me on a good day. ;) </span>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">I am like, equal parts terrified and relieved just getting it out in the open. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">So. I'll end there. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">Love and a weight has lifted, </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times-Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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