Sunday, July 24, 2011

How many times do you think you have said good-bye in your entire lifetime?  Have you ever thought of that? 10,000 maybe?  A million?  Surely not.  How many good-byes do you think you have left?  Ee Gads.  Hopefully not that many.

I wanted to say, "I am terrible at good-byes."

But do you know anyone who says, "I am awesome at saying good-bye.  Good-byes are awesome."

Surely the answer is no.

For this particular good-bye, I cried. In fact, I was a borderline mess.  It was the kind of thing where you have said your good-byes and are now talking about last-minute everyday mundane things and yet your voice is still shaking.

As if I'm delivering The Worst News Ever instead of simply telling my mom how to water my houseplants.

I'll WaTer ThEm BeFore I LeaVeeeee......bUt ThEy MiGht....NeED....it...Agaiiiiiinnnnnnnn................

Friends.  I don't want to brag, but I used to be a traveling genius, especially before I got married.  Ok. Not a genius, but still...I was pretty good at it.

Taxis in Las Vegas.  The D.C. Metro.  LAX.  The back of a pick-up truck in Central America.

And I don't remember ever shedding a tear upon my departure.

You see.  It is easy.  It was easy.  It is easy when you have so little to lose.

But now, I am married.  There is a tiny baby niece and two of our own fur-babies.

Truthfully?  I wanted to apologize.  I was embarrassed.

However, I would rather cry because I have everything to lose than cry because I have nothing to lose.

Love and sometimes you just need a minute,
H.

1 comment:

carmen @ life blessons said...

i think part of it also has to do with just get older in general. i feel the same way a lot more now when i see my family. i used to just say goodbye and no big deal but now i do get sad, like i was 5 again. i think it's that we're finally outgrowing that super-independent teenager phase :)