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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Tonight, my dad and I left...

Tonight, my dad and I left church early to take a meal to a family who's husband/father is dying of cancer.  

He is not an old man.  

It is sad.  

Right now, the only word I can think of is sorrow. 


I got in the car and I yelled.  And I never yell in front of my dad.  It was not I-am-so-mad-at-you-right-now-yelling.  

It was life-is-not-fair yelling.  

Tonight, I felt very much like life is about being born and paying taxes and co-existing with lima beans and surviving 38-degree-weather-even-though-your-calender-says-next-month-is-April.  

And falling in love with people and then them dying in sad and sorrowful ways.  

And then my dad said maybe we should go for a drive.  

So we drove for a long time.  And he started talking about farmland, I think to keep me from doing more yelling.  We drove by the land Tim's family my family owns (where I want to build our dog farm). 

We were late for choir and it felt a lot like we were skipping school together.  

On the way back, we saw two Very Little Girls playing in someone's living room window.  

And then my dad said it reminded him of me and my sister.  

Then he asked about my car because he always asks about my car.  We picked it out together (her name is Roxanne).  And he says the thing he always says which is, "It turned out to be a good little car..."  

123,000 some odd miles, thank you very much.  

And I said, "Yea...we make a pretty good team..." and nudged his elbow with my elbow because, like I said, we picked it out together. 

And I'm pretty sure that even though tonight was sad and I used the word sorrow and there was yelling, I'm pretty sure that when my dad is the one who is Sick or Old & Leaving, this trip will be one of my favorite memories.  

I don't know why these things happen.  I don't.  

Sometimes, life is horrible.  It is Tragic.  It is Devastating.  

But I also know that sometimes, it is good.  It is very, very good.  

And that just in the nick of time, God shows up.  

In the past 4 months, five or six* of my good-good friends have had babies.  On nights like these, it helps to think of Briggs and Ephram and Vala and Levi and Lucy.  

Sometimes, life is good.  

Love and my friends picked out cool names for their babies, 

*I said six because I'm terribly afraid I'm forgetting someone.  My apologies.  

Thursday, March 24, 2011

How much do you just absolutely love life?  Please say, "Lots." 

Lots and Lots.  

Love and I think I've posted this video before, 

*Video Courtesy of Mindy Gledhill and Christian Nielson via nieniedialogues

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Oatmeal, Strawberry Cream Cakes

I got this idea from The Creative Homemaker.  Gotta give credit where credit's due.  These were so very easy (yet messy) and turned out really wonderful. I made them for my mom's birthday because I wanted something other than a cake (hard to believe, right?)

Here are all the ingredients.

1 bag of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies (plus the ingredients needed for those eggs, etc.)
1 tub of marshmallow fluff
1 tub of strawberry cream cheese
chopped strawberries
*sugar to taste

Make the cookies as directed and let them cool

Add chopped strawberries, sugar, marshmallow fluff, and cream cheese
Stir until all of it is well blended! 
Layer cream cheese mixture between two cookies. Add sprinkles and place in fridge to harden/cool.
Next time, I would probably make them a bit smaller.  I just hate seeing a good cookie go to waste!

I think these would be adorable for a baby shower.  You could use blueberries or just marshmallow fluff/whipped cream and blue food coloring for a "boy."

I will definitely be making these again!

Linking up.

Make it Yours @ My Backyard Eden

Dear Future-Maybe-Daughter

Marry a boy who loves to read.

You won't regret it.

     Tim started a blog for the Sunday School Class he is teaching.  While it doesn't yet have all the bells and whistles, the other day, his post was really wonderful.  Click here for a good read.

Sit and stay a while.

Love and this is not my way of telling you I'm pregnant,

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Much Love from Yours Truly

I discovered Much Love Monday after reading Our City Lights

All you need is a Monday, and a heart-shaped object.  It's easier than you think. :)  

I (love) that these two objects are heart-shaped and involve so many people I (love). 

     I created the first one when I was having dinner with some of my best pals in the world (who are featured here).  It was All You Can Eat Wing Night.  I had grilled chicken and broccoli thank you very much (along with everyone's leftovers).  James topped the list at 30-something.  We.were.there.for.three.hours! 
      The second is a potato chip My (Love) found and set on the coffee table for me.  And then Scarlett proceeded to try to eat it.  It's still on the table which is probably kind of gross.  I do NOT (love) 3 day old potato chips.  
Love and more love,

*I will link-up to Much Love Monday on....Monday.  I am limiting my time on the internet for Lent (it's a long story) so I have to strike while the iron's hot!  Bah. Ha.

Friday, March 11, 2011




Hey, You.

You can find our mom over here.  She's under "loving life" which we think is pretty fitting.

We hope you find some other good reads while you're there.

Just click that little button below.

Yea. YEA! YEA!  That one! click it! Click it!

Love and strangely intelligent dogs, 
H, S & N 

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees 
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. 

You only have to let the soft animal of your body 
love what it loves. 

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. 

Meanwhile the world goes on. 

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, 
the world offers itself to your imagination... 

Wild Geese, Mary Oliver

I totally. totally love this.  You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.  

There is such relief in that.  Such freedom.  

Today is Ash Wednesday.  I spent the better part of my evening with ashes on my hand, wondering exactly what this day means.  

I still don't quite know.  

Tim and God and I have our hard talks in the car.  And tonight, I cried in the driveway. 


Right now,  

And that's ok.  

really. it is.  

. . . ? 

He is quiet and I am feeling very not-sure-there's-really-a-plan-ish.  

But I am finished walking on my knees through the desert.  

We do not have to be good.  

We only have to love what we love.  

Love and more love, 

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

My Friend Streppy

     So, strep throat and I have been in an on again-off-again relationship longer than Britney and K-fed.  I catch it at least once a year.  At least.  On one occasion, I even caught it FOUR times.  Once in the summer even.  


Last year's incident was the sickest I have ever been. Ever.  103.5 degree fever. 
 This is what I looked like. 

Terrible, right?  

     Well, good ole' streppy is back.  Two sick days and one z-pack later, and I think I'm on the mend.  Tonight, I drug myself to Parent/Teacher Conferences.  I ended up having some down time which was both a blessing and a curse.  In my experience, when you are trapped, alone in a classroom for an extended period of time, you start to go a little nutty...thinking about all The Stuff you all still have left to do as a class.  

Holiest of all Holy Cows.  

There are math facts to memorize and presidents to study.  Mountains to draw and reports to write.  

Then came The Glumps.  The Shoulda-woulda-coulda's.  The Nothing's-Ever-Good-Enough's. 


I shouldn't have missed these two days (um. see above.  Yes. I should have).  We should have finished this unit faster.  I should have skipped ahead and covered this instead. 

You know the drill.    

But on the way home, I thought of this quote. 

     I think we're gonna be ok.  Guess what.  You will be, too.  And here's another photo taken after last year's Strep Throat that first photo doesn't haunt your dreams.  

Love, blurry Macbook photos, and now I want to grow my hair out again,