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Saturday, June 30, 2012

Friday, June 22, 2012

Old Joy Part 642

I have known one Lucy in my entire life.  And we like each other a whole lot, I think.

I have a 100% success rate with People Named Lucy.

You can't argue with that math.

So many of her new words now have this distinct clarity to them.  No longer "ma-mammmm,"  but a very specific mommy.

Tonight, I was feeding her dinner while my sister did All Those Things You Try To Accomplish While You Have Someone Else's Eyes on Your Child.

Lucy pointed across the room and said, "Mommy."

To which I jokingly replied,

"Aren't I your mommy?"

She looked at if to say, "Not only has this person lost her mind, but she's going to completely ruin a perfectly good mac & cheese dinner."

Finally, the words came and she gently corrected me.


So there you have it.

One look and two words can say 1,000 different things.

This year has been hard.  This was the year it felt as if  I could cry on command (and often in the car).  For a few specific reasons and then no reasons at all at the same time.

Oh, womanhood.  Am I right?

There have been times this year when it felt as if a lot was going to be left unaccomplished- everything from motherhood to our taxes* to (for the love of Pete) keeping my car clean.

There have been times this year when the stakes and the expectations just felt too high.

I know I don't have a difficult life.  I have everything I need and so so much of what I want.

But there were times this year when I just felt very sad and I wasn't sure how to get un-sad and I am still trying to untangle all that. Just a little.

I have spent a great while simply chasing the joy.  Trying to pin it down.  Wrestle it to the ground.

Refusing to weep.

It has been one part struggle, two parts surrender.

I very much enjoy going on outings as an Aunt.  It is kind of like being Queen for a Day.

I get to pick out what Lucy wears.  (My favorite part is the rare occasion when I get to pick out her pajamas.)    I get to help her down the slide.  I get to unintentionally traumatize her with goats.**

 It is a break for my sister and a treat for me and a respite for, perhaps, all three of us.

Our first outing this summer, involved the zoo.  The only pressing thing on our "Zoo Bucket List" was the train.

Oh, the train.

While we were riding with the wind in our hair and the trees blowing, something cracked inside me.  Maybe it was more like melting; pressing cold hands to the heater in the car.

It was like happiness but better.  


More lasting.


And so I prayed, "Dear Lord, help me to remember this forever."

 I thought to myself, "There it is."

You know?

There it is.

Here's to us, and a Very Magical Train Ride.


*Just for the record, we did our taxes this year.

** Unintentional Goat Traumatization (or UGT) is a real condition.  Dozens of Americans suffer from it each year and their cries go unnoticed.  If you or someone you know has been unintentionally traumatized by a goat, please seek help immediately.  It is our goal here at YoursTrulyH to ensure that no one suffers alone.

All joking aside, the goats were supposed to be totally fun and subdued and instead they all had their game faces on. Like, "Hey, we're goats and we're awesome and you will pet us whether you like it or not."  Needless to say, we didn't stay long.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

This Dog

I'm pretty sure This Dog & I were made for each other.  

Last night, our plans consisted of eating microwave chinese food (Tim), Orange juice & sprite and Kashi Cereal (me) while watching a movie about cowboys and aliens (dumb).

At midnight, no less.

File this under: Summer Nights I Want to Remember Forever


Friday, June 8, 2012

Something Naughty This Way Comes

Now that I'm home more often in the summer, I always get a fresher look at the Scarlett/Noel Dynamic.  This is pretty much how it goes.    

H, S. & N.

Friday, June 1, 2012

A New Winner

     We have long searched for the city's best burger.  Well, if you want to call me eating at Terry's Turf Club, falling in love and thus declaring it The City's Best Burger a long search, then you're welcome to.

     Our next conquest?  Mexican food.  Hands down, our Rincon Mexicana (or The Mexican Place by Bigg's) has long since been declared The Winner.

Until tonight, that is.

Sometimes, the best discoveries are made on a whim. 

 While sitting together on said whim, we decided upon El Rancho Grande as our restaurant of choice.

     Like a little kid, I played with Tim's iphone while (unbeknownst to me) he ate the majority of the chips & salsa (you filthy rat)!

     It made me a little sad to declare a new favorite, but El Rancho Grande is it.  Winner in service, variety, ground beef, awesomeness, and atmosphere.

So, there you have it.

     Tonight, at dinner, I kept thinking about how I love Tim so much that I can't even explain it which is how I know I love him, if you really must know.

     On the way home in the car, I asked, "Where are we going next?"  And then he said, "Home or adventure....decide NOW!"  

     To which I replied very loudly, "ADVENTURE AWAITS! We don't have a baby to go home to! Let's do it!"  

And adventure involved (as it almost always should)...the pet store.

And looking at the mice made me Very Sad, and we talked about how much I still miss Beezus.

     I hope I was a good enough mouse mom. Truth be told, I'm sure I could have done better.  He always had enough food and water, but a few more tromps on the dining room table area that would be perfectly acceptable to allow a mouse to run free never would have hurt anyone.

     Then, I said I wanted a jumbo rat just so I could say, "Hey, do you want to come over and see my jumbo rat?"

     And then Tim said really quickly, "Hey, would you like to come over after church on Sunday and see our JUMbo rat!?!?!??"  Emphasis (for some reason) on the JUM and we both laughed harder than we probably should have.

     I also thought about how, on a scale of 1 to 10, I love pets an 11 and how all I really want out of this life is a family, a house in the country, a dog farm, and a measly little writing career.

And then I felt better.

     I also told him that I wish hamsters were nicer.  The only hamster I ever remember loving was incredibly mean.  There's a sermon in there somewhere.

And then we continued The Great Parakeet Debate of 2010.  It's a long story.  I'll tell you later.

We are not getting a parakeet.  Or are we?

That is usually the way the conversation goes.

     Sitting at dinner tonight, I couldn't help but think about how we needed this.   A new winner.  A change of pace.  Somebody to reset the metronome.  I think that is my wish for the summer.

 A fresh start.

It is long overdue.

Love and still no bird,

The Will of God

 Oh. This has been rolling around in my head all week.  If I could muster the courage, I'd quite possibly tattoo it in large rolling letters all over my body.  Perhaps a picture will do.
And, just so you know, I'd clone that kid in 2 seconds flat if I could. Pigtails and all.