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Monday, November 7, 2016

My Election Day Survival Plan





Friend.  Do you have an ELECTION DAY SURVIVAL PLAN?  Or...E.D.S.P.?

IF NOT,  YOU SHOULD!!!

I remember Ann Lamott wrote one time that after George W. Bush got elected, she stayed in bed for 3 days and cried.

At first, I was like..."Really, Ann? Really?"

And then we hit 2016 and encountered THIS NONSENSE.

In 2012, I remember saying I just wanted a candidate I could be EXCITED about.

Isn't that cute?  I wanted to be EXCITED!!!

NOW...I would just settle for someone who doesn't make me want to lose my lunch.

With that being said...we need a plan for survival, friends.

     Here is the plan.  I think the key is to stay busy here, guys.  BUSY.  BUSY doing anything other than weeping on the couch and watching CNN.

     I'm going to vote early in the day.  If I put it off, I'll just spend every second dreading the whole process.  Next up, we're going to hit the park.  On the way home, we're going to spring for some bagels,  THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH.

I mean...bagels with cream cheese never killed anyone.  AM I RIGHT?

Next up?  A trip to our local Fresh Thyme for some of their gorgeous $5 flowers.  

Necessary.  

     After park + bagels + flowers,  it will probably be time for Ella's nap and my adult responsibilities.  This is where it gets tricky here, guys.  VERY TRICKY.

     Social Media..."What do the polls say?"  Anxiety...couch...blanket... obsessing over ABC News...the temptation is STRONG.

     This is where Rory & Lorelai Gilmore come in.  Hand to heart, you have my word that I'ma watch Gilmore Girls and CLEAN THIS HERE HOUSE because I do not want this place to be a disaster when this election is over and the Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse arrive.

Please.

     After that...who knows.  I need to get a work out in. Something soothing like yoga...or banging my head against the wall over and over and over again.  ;)

I feel like no social media + productivity + an abundance of self-care is really the key to surviving this election.  

Who's with me?

Over the weekend, I went to Kroger and procured supplies.

They are as follows:

One pack of chocolate chip break-n-bake cookies

Sally Hansen Miracle Gel nail polish in Terra- Coppa, thank you very much.

Natural Bliss Creamer (Vanilla)

Decaf K-cups (FOR OBVIOUS REASONS)

I also have a gift certificate for Marco's Pizza that's been burning a hole in my pocket.

One should not be expected to cook dinner as the world is coming to an end.  I mean...

Honorable Mentions include a long, hot shower and my favorite marshmallow candle.

     All joking aside, it really is an honor and a privilege to vote in this country.  Many men (and women, especially) are not afforded the same luxury.  I'm doing the best I can to tie up some loose ends as far as researching candidates and issues before The Big Day.  I just know I'll kind of obsess and pace the floors if I don't have a plan for how I'm going to spend my time.  

     Also, if YOU'RE "really excited" about a candidate, I'm seriously so happy for you and honestly, a little jealous. I just couldn't get there this year.

Ok.  I'll see you on the other side.


Love and extra cream cheese,