Tuesday, September 15, 2015

First Thing's First

If I had a dollar for every draft I have waiting in my blog roll, I'd have...like...58 dollars.  

I always thought I'd be one of those Pinterest girls who writes about All the Baby Things on a chalkboard. 

And then life happened. 

And I'm totally ok with that.  

I just keep telling myself, "What you have is enough."  

Time. Pictures.  Baby clothes.  Ok...now I'm talking crazy.  Are there ever enough baby clothes? ;)  

I woke up this morning thinking about the blog.   That's probably strange.  It just felt like something I needed "to do" before we have this here baby.  

I wondered if I thought I would have written a book by now...or if I'd be making money blogging by now or...

???

And it occurred to me that in this moment, I am exactly where I thought I would be at 33...

Making warm pies and sweet babies (except I thought my babies would be a little older by now- ha. We plan, God laughs, right?)  

That is the call and it is strong, friends. 

One of my friends who is a genius and free-lance writer said she feels like she is supposed to put down the writing for a while. Like...motherhood is the gig right now.  

And I hear that. I do.  

Because my due date is so close, I am missing The Influence Conference this year and it's kind of killing me.  

I feel like I am a better person when I'm connecting with people and writing or at least THINKING about writing.

However...

Right around May, every.single.fiber.of.my.being started screaming, Ella's name. 

I can't explain it.  

So. Here we are.  

And because you're such peaches and you've read almost this entire thing...here's a sneak peak at Our Ella Baby's nursery.  I am so in love with her room and I can't wait for her to see it.  


     The horse belonged to Tim's mom, and some of the animals strewn about were mine when I was little.  The printable birds for the garland came from this Etsy Shop

     Anyway, I'd love to find the time to blog regularly someday. About motherhood.  About daily living. About our sweet dogs and how much I love That Tim.   I want to write about Ella and how much she has changed our lives. How The Lord used her first, tiny-sweet presence to bring healing into our marriage and make us better people.  How could one little person already do SUCH BIG THINGS?  I cry all the happy tears just thinking about it.  

Maybe someday. 

I know this feels like a weird good-bye and I promise, it's definitely not. So many things about life feel up in the air.  Even this post feels...unfinished?  But, it occurs to me that it feels unfinished because it all is...it's not going to feel "finished" until Ella is here, I think.  

Or maybe it won't but I'll be too tired to care. ;)  

So much about trying to conceive and being pregnant brings me back to The World and how much we need Jesus.  You know...the dots always connect.  You can always find the parallels if you look hard enough.  

     We will always be up at night, pacing the floors until Christ gets here. Isn't that right?  Something is always going to feel "off."  That traces allll the way back to The Old Testament.  Prophesies.  Advent. You know the drill.  

You guys.  Aren't I AMAZINGLY profound at 39 weeks pregnant.  Maybe all the water retention and swelling is going to MY BRAIN!  ;)  

I can't help but feel like we are on the edge of something really great.  You know?  The Lord is always ready to use us wherever we are.  Forever and ever amen.  

I want to put off being "finished" with this post so badly because it is scary to think about "putting it down" indefinitely. Not that I ever blogged "that much" in the first place but...

You understand. 

So I keep rambling.  

But...for now...you know. First thing's first.  

Bam! Ella Marie! 

I WILL SEE YOU GUYS ON THE OTHER SIDE!  

Love, extra long naps and a healthy dose of courage, 




 

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