I know the internet will be overwhelmed with blog posts, tweets, and Facebook status updates about 9/11. I definitely do not want to be overly dramatic (because I didn't lose anyone on that day), but I absolutely dread this date every year. Not that anyone actually looks forward to it, but the feeling seems to get worse as I get older.
This time last year, I had just finished reading Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close which is about a boy named Oskar who loses his father in the attacks on September 11th.
To put it bluntly, after reading it, I got a little obsessed. I can remember spending the better part of an entire day finishing the book and then researching facts about 9/11. Watching youtube videos. Looking up documentaries. The list goes on.
I started trying to list really obscure things that would have been in the buildings at the time. It sounded like something Oskar would do. Someone had walked in the office and put their lunch in the fridge. I bet someone had a houseplant on their desk.
Man, I love a good houseplant.
And listing things made me sad.
It was sort of sick. Really. Not sick as in "twisted" but sick as in maybe not that healthy. I guess I was trying to re-grieve if that's possible. I don't know. I think, perhaps, I was trying to make the whole thing more relatable. I have always had a hard time wrapping my head around all of it.
I woke up this morning with a lot of hope. I love Cincinnati. I love Ohio. I adore this country. I know we've had our mess ups. Plenty. But I believe we are a nation that always roots for the underdog. We are still a nation "under God" whether people want to believe that or not. The Bible is full of characters who have screwed up and afterwards been rescued...redeemed.
I think we are a nation in waiting. We are waiting to be rescued by Jesus.
This weekend, I'm going to light a candle, say a prayer, and be grateful.
Be near, O God.