Let's Call the Whole Thing Off

The other day, I was walking into the bank, and I had a passing thought,

"I should just clear out our entire bank account."

Ha.  I had to chuckle at the thought of poor Tim's face looking at all the zeros in our balance.

Then I thought, I could leave because, technically, my car is in my name.

I want to be very clear here before you start worrying about how this story is going to end.

I was not upset.  I was not mad. I was not unhappy.  Quite the opposite, actually.

I just had The Glumps.

They were the 14-year-old-boy Glumps where all you want to do is lie on the couch playing xbox, ditching your responsibilities, and eating someone else's hot pockets.

You don't want to go to The Post Office.

You don't want to return that skirt you said you'd return 3 weeks ago, and you CERTAINLY don't want to spend money paying down your credit card debt.

Yowza.

I imagine the 14-year-old-boy- Glumps look a little something like this.

Anthony Michael Hall photo courtesy of nerdarama.com

I was thinking about Going Somewhere.  Anywhere.  At that point, New Mexico sounded pretty good to me.  

Yick for responsibilities. I say, Yick.  

Bring on the xbox.  (Ok. We don't even have an xbox, but I think you know what I mean). 

Then, I walked out to the parking lot and saw a man wearing a t-shirt that simply said

submit to it.

That was all it said.

I simultaneously wanted to hug him and punch him in the face.

I started thinking about Proverbs 31- what God has said about being a good wife.  I don't think it is "easier" to be a husband.*  I just think it is less detailed.  Less complex.

Love me.
Lead me.
Provide. Protect.

Whereas being a wife?  Holy cow.  There is an entire section of The Bible dedicated to helping women understand how to be good wives.

Be resourceful. Work hard.  Get up early.  Be generous.  Be wise. Be prepared.  Manage your time.

The list goes on.

Submit.

Oh yea. That's right.  I know there are a lot of women out there who balk at that word.  Submit.  Before Tim and I got married, our pastor at the time (who is awesome), said that when you submit, you pledge your allegiance to someone or something.

And I really loved that.

But I also think it is about giving yourself over to something that is greater.  Running a household.  Being responsible.  Going to the stupid Post Office at 4 o'clock the evening before a major holiday.

photo source

Boo.

It's about acknowledging that being a wife and having a good marriage is dang hard.  You will drown in the details of those verses.

Unless you are willing to sacrifice.

Unless you know how to submit.

Which I am, and I do. I guess.

Love and some days are better than others,
H.

P.S. A note for Tim: 

     I am not moving to New Mexico because gas is expensive. Plus, I would be terribly sad to wake up with no tiny beasts weighing down my covers and you are the only one who knows how to make The Best Omelet Ever. And I would miss you.

And there are scorpions in New Mexico and (pardon my grammar)but  I ain't havin' none of that.  

*For the record, I think being a Husband is way harder than being a
wife because when the zombies attack-  let's face it, Tim Young and his ferocious white beast will totally be the ones climbing out of the
attic to get more chips & salsa.  Unloading the dishwasher, I can handle.  Fending off The Undead? No thanks.

Oh, Sure.

I can't remember exactly where we were when the conversation took place, but in my brain, I remember we were shopping...or getting fast food...or waiting in line somewhere...

When I asked my Sweet Sister...

"...do you care if I put Lucy on The Blog...?"

She responded with a simple, "...Oh, sure..."

To be polite.  Maybe?  Like the kind of response you would give when someone asks you if you like their new, hot orange, velvet curtains.

However, "Oh...sure..." was all the permission I needed.

     I cannot tell you how much I love this kid.  I have joked that the only thing I can compare it to is having a crush on a boy.  I think about her all the time.  I just want to be near her. Always.  I can't stop talking about her when I get home from seeing her.  If I had a textbook covered with a brown grocery bag, I'd probably scribble her name all over it (did you guys used to cover your textbooks that way?)   It's ridiculous.  Really.  Is this what it's like to have your own kid?

Really?

So, for you, on This Sunshiney-Late-Summer Saturday...I give you, Mad Scientist Hair.  

Love,
H.

Hello. I've missed you.  I always forget how much the start of the school year makes you feel as if you've fallen off the face of the earth.

Busy. Busy.

Kind of like this.

Only with puppets.  And singing.  And shoes that light up.  And individually wrapped packages of Chips Ahoy!

It's fun. Really!  

Anyway, thanks for sticking with me.

Today, Lucy and I are here to tell you that I am guest blogging at Life Blessons, and Holy Cow am I excited.

I am excited because Carmen is awesome. She makes me want to be a better blogger/wife/friend.*

So come on over.

Love and when someone asks you to watermark the photo of their baby, you don't ask questions.  You just watermark it.
H.

*Here's a little fun fact.  Did you know Carmen and I lived together the year before Tim & I got married?  Did you also know that our anniversaries are 367 days apart?

Well, now you do.  And yes, there will be a quiz.

The Simple Dollar

     Today, I just wanted to share a website with you all that I'm really loving.  It is called The Simple Dollar.  It features things like book reviews, inexpensive recipes, and financial advice that is EASY TO UNDERSTAND. Hallelujah forever and ever, Amen! I'm really enjoying this blog.  He even gets down to the nitty-gritty details of life like- get this- the frugality of paper towels!

 You can read more about his journey (overcoming $20,000 worth of credit card debt) and how he plans to stay debt-free under the tabs "my story" and "about."  He also had great advice in the side bars, too!  Take a minute to explore!  

The Simple Dollar

Just thought I'd share.  

In other news, we just moved a lot of our money from savings to pay down our credit card (but left $1,000 in our emergency fund per Dave Ramey's suggestion).  

I'm really, really excited, but also a little nervous.  Praying this is the year we pay our card off.  

Pray for us because according to Murphy's Law, tomorrow something really expensive is going to break.  Haha.  

Any good financial tips or web sites?  Any small victories- financial or otherwise? 

Look how excited Scarlett is.  If she weren't so gosh dang adorable, I might ask her to start earning her keep.  (For those of you who may be new to the blog, this is known as A Scarlett Ball).  Still trying to figure out a way to make a profit off all the extra hair she sheds.  Genuine Scarlett Hair Sweater, anyone?  What about a blanket?  

Love and pinching my pennies, 

H.   

August Schmaugust

   Today, I am going to tell you about our Family Goals for August.  When we welcomed a new month, the thought just kind of occurred to me, "Hey- we should start setting some goals each month."  I think this would be a cute family tradition when we have kids and a pretty fun blog series/link-up, to boot...if I were ever feeling ambitious enough.  Yikes.

     I hesitated to post these, lest I sound all, "We're perfect and adorable and these are our goals this month." However, seeing as how one of our goals involves NOT eating dinner on the dusty coffee table while watching Pawn Stars, I think it's safe to say that the facade/illusion of us being "perfect" and adorable is officially shattered.

My spelling is atrocious tonight.  Sigh.  Here's to trying to be more better.  Or something like that.

Our eating-out budget this month is $75   ($47 spent so far on a meal after Tim's softball game, dessert and sodas while watching a friend perform at open mic night, and a picnic dinner from Subway)  


Pray together everyday  (I give us a B+ for this one so far.  We do this at night and need to find a solution for the nights when I go to bed/fall asleep before Tim does)  


Physical Activity 3x a week (don't ask)  


We will eat at the dining room table 2x a week (This would involve us cleaning off the dining room table first...always a work in progress).  


What are your goals this month?


Love and trying really hard,
H.

While we're on the subject of us not being too terribly perfect, I would file these under "out takes."

Party of Two, Please.

A while ago, we took The Girls to my parents house just for fun.  Cause that's what we do.  We take my dogs over to my mom and dad's to say, "Hi."

Lord help us all when we have children.  ((insert colon/parentheses smiley face here))

When I grabbed the leashes, they got SO EXCITED.

This is probably the cutest thing you'll see all week.

Go ahead and admit it.

If you don't have a dog, you should get one.  Or Four.

Then you can take them over to other people's houses so they can admire the cuteness firsthand.

Love and you're welcome,
H.

What you kids are calling it these days

Dear Future Maybe Daughter, 

     Right now I am going to tell you about a boy I somethinged. I use the word somethinged because I don't know exactly what we did. Dated? Maybe? Well, there you have it. Right now, I am going to tell you about the last boy I dated before I met your father.

I used to be afraid he would read All This, but now? There is no fear. Barely a passing thought as my fingers click clack across the keys.

     We dated when I was roughly a year out of a very sudden and nearly tragic accident. Maybe you've heard the story about the time I was hit by an out-of-control van when I was stepping off the sidewalk? Maybe I've squeezed your hand super-incredibly tight while we are trick-or-treating or walking in the parking lot.

Forgive me. Some of it still stays, and I guarantee the craziness over such things is only because I love you to bits & pieces and don't want to see you hurt.

Moving on.

I was about 8 months or so out of therapy for PTSD. We ventured to a baseball game, this boy and I.

Even though I had made a full recovery, my nerves were shot. I had the reflexes of a blind cat. Everything made me jump. Needless to say, the crowded city on a game night was quite a stretch for me at the time.

I remember he bought me a bottle of water. It may as well have been a diamond. Swoon. Swoon.

In the midst of all this, my shoe broke right down the middle. Which is probably why I never let you buy flip flops from Target. For that, my love, I will not apologize. A good pair of flops is hard to come by, and in my experience, you are barking up the wrong tree at Target. Old Navy. Please.

Do these stores even still exist? Or have the aliens taken over? Please say yes and then no.

He fiddled with my shoe for a second, and then shook his head. Frustrated. He handed it back with a simple, “I can't get it.”

So. I limped. I came out of that winter still feeling Rather Crumbly and Broken. This just confirmed my crumbly brokenness.

Oh the limping.

I hobbled down Main Street. Past the gentleman selling t-shirts. Over the bridge that crosses the highway. And all I could think about during that game was the fact that I would have to limp all the way home...or at least it felt like it.

With that being said...

Sweet Child o' mine. It is my honest hope that you marry a problem-solver.

Your father is one of the most resourceful men I know. Along with my father, both of my grandfathers, and your Uncle Dan.

I know, with all my heart that your father would have found a way to fix that shoe. Some duct tape. A paper clip. Something.

And he also would have sprung for peanuts.

Love and please choose wisely,

Mom   

    If you didn't read my last post, you may want to take a second and do that.

Thanks. You're welcome.  Thanks.


 In my last post, I was kind of a Simplicity Nazi.  Perhaps.

I told you we are not doing enough.  And we aren't.

While Tim and I were in Guatemala, we helped a team build a bath house for a local Bible Institute. We also visited an elementary school as well as Remar Orphanage.

While I was gone, I couldn't help but feel this absolute sense of urgency.

Urgency.

There are children in an an orphanage right now that need new shoes, y'all.

They need shoes.

I'm not even kidding.

What are we doing about this? Seriously? What are we doing?

More importantly, what are we going to do?

Sigh. It is hard to understand, and it is hard to explain. It's not your fault. Really.

I'm just praying that that sense of urgency sticks around. That it.sticks.around. And that I can convey it to other people, too.   

I think, right now, my question is how do we reconcile It All?  I'm struggling.  Sort of.  Really.

One definition of the word reconcile is to make peace.  And I loved that.  Really.

How do we take the experiences we've had and come back and watch HGTV and shop for new school clothes and make brownies and ride in nice cars and still, for the love of Pete, try to come back and do something good for the rest of the world?

How do we make peace with between the world we've come from and the world we've come back to?

Holy smokes, I am still looking for those answers.

I think one answer lies in knowing what, exactly we've learned.

1. We need to stop giving 2 craps about what each other is wearing.
2. Everybody is somebody's uncle, son, daughter, sister, neighbor, etc.
3. Lots of things in life are universal: soccer balls, giant bubbles, gum, and sidewalk chalk included
4. Animal noises are incredibly helpful when trying to overcome a language barrier with kids. Gato? Perro? Vacca? We very well could have “mooed” together for hours and would have been perfectly content.
5. Did you read number one?
   
   
   
   
   I think another answer comes with using our time wisely.  Yet another struggle I have.  Honestly.  Seriously.  Forever and ever amen.  
   
   
   I waste a lot of time reading blogs. That may sound like a mean thing to say, but it's true. For every “this is making me a better person and helping me pursue other interests” blogs, there are 10 “What I wore/did last weekend/ate for lunch” blogs just waiting in my Google Reader.
   
   
   I don't know. I came home and did a lot of “unfollowing” and “unsubscribing.”
   
   
   It was hard. Really. It was. Some of them were blogs I've been reading for years. Good blogs. Nice blogs. Adorable blogs.
   
   
   But they really aren't making me a better person.
   
   
   Lots of give aways. Lots of posts looking for sponsors. Random crafts. Fashion. Like I said, GOOD BLOGS.   
   
   

However, what if, for every random crafty, "what I wore" blog I read, I spent 5 extra minutes doing cardio?

Or reading The Bible? Or calling a friend? Or chatting with Tim? Or volunteering somewhere?

What do you think would happen?

What do I think would happen? Well, I think it would friggin' change my life.

For heaven's sake, here's to hoping it does.

Dear Goodness this has been one long, random strung-along post.  

I hope I didn't sound mean, self-righteous, over-the-top, or nonsensical.  

Do you ever feel like there are Things You Just Have to Get Down?  

Well, this was just one of them...or 7.  

Love and back to your regularly scheduled program, 

H.