Monday, October 31, 2016

All Sorrows' Eve



We are back from trunk-or-treating, and I am getting ready to hunker down with a PSL and some Gilmore Girls on Netflix. Guilt-free cause wrangling a baby toddler into a costume and then trying to photograph said toddler ain't NO JOKE.  

The Lord has told me, on multiple occasions, that users of the internet are now my new "people." Community, if you will. So with that being said, here are my late-night-after-trick-or-treating- thoughts. OH JOY! ;)  


First of all...I am loving LOVING all these sweet, adorable pumpkin-themed pregnancy announcements. April/March 2017. Spring babies. Please. Keep them coming. I'm also super "jelly" over how gorgeous and sweet and scrumptious you all are.


Mamas- you are doing good work. Just hold on. I hope you don't throw up ALL your candy. Maybe only the red starbursts...cause they're gross. I pray you keep the Reese's. ;)  


Secondly. So so so many of you have posted about how difficult this time of year is for you.


Infertility. Divorce. Lost loved ones.  


You will go to bed tonight, and you will look online at costumes on clearance for babies you fear you'll never have.  I know because I've been there.


You make a secret stash of your "missing person's" favorite candy and then stop yourself, remembering they aren't here to eat it.


Maybe you're single. Again.  


Maybe this year, your kids are too old to trick or treat, and that's hit you surprisingly hard. You're grateful (as everyone so graciously reminds you YOU "SHOULD BE")

...but you're sad. 

You're lonely.


I hate to sound pretentious...like..."Oh...guys...aren't I just sooooo compassionate."


BUT...motherhood and our 2 year stint with infertility has made me more vulnerable and aware of people's pain than I could have ever imagined. In that way, I'm grateful for the trial. It has helped me see the world outside myself.


Grief hits us in weird places. When we were trying to conceive...I remember one particular Easter being very, very hard. Even harder than Mother's Day...which I know sounds weird. I couldn't stand all the bunny pictures...chubby baby hands in lace trimmed gloves. Wide brimmed hats. I wanted to punch absolutely everyone. I prayed for God to break Facebook forever.


With all that being said....my broken, lost and lonely friends. I see you, and I hear you and I just love you so much. I will go to bed praying hard for you all tonight. Many of you, I do not know by name, but aren't you glad The Lord does? Tomorrow, Halloween will be over. We will start a new month, and you will brush your teeth and drink your coffee (in that order...or no?) and you will go boldly down that path laid out for you.  


Friend. You made it.





No comments: