Love,
H.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Every Fragment of Us
I took screen shots of these photos for one reason or another. They are so close to my heart, even though they are saved in iphoto, I can't seem to summon the strength to drag them from my desktop to the "trash."
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Macrame, Babies & Other Oddities
Holy Smokes.
File this under: Hardest Post Ever
Exactly one month from tomorrow, I will turn 30.
I am, as Sabrina Ward Harrison would say, feeling the feelings of my age.
I'm not saying that I am feeling old. I am grateful. I think complaining about your age on milestone birthdays is completely overdone. It's better than the alternative, right?
However, the older I get, the more it seems I have to lose...and the seemingly LARGE things seem less and less important.
Work. Fashion. Hollywood. Money
...?
But like I said, the more I have to lose.
And I realize right now, I am writing an awful lot without actually getting to the point.
And then I posted a dead, cartoon fish.
Forgive me.
///New Paragraph///
I am realizing that life is a collection of Very Small Moments and Important Decisions we hold close to our hearts. Kent Nerburn would call them Blue Moments.
They are the cards we view with our elbows tucked in very tightly. Wrists turned in.
I don't know about you, but I don't tend to talk about These Moments very much. Not because they aren't worthy of mentioning, but perhaps quite the opposite.
They just seem sacred. I guess.
The first time I held Lucy. My first morning in Hawaii with Tim (Yowza). My lone trip to Starbucks the night before our wedding. Et cetera.
But today, I will show you part of my hand. I've got a card, it seems, that is no longer relevant. Like bringing an UNO deck to a game of poker.
In case you didn't know, Tim and I are extremely private about our family planning. It's not something we like to address with other people. It's too much pressure. And it feels weird.
And it's fun you know? Having a secret.
However.
For a long time, we said we were going to start trying to have baby the spring I turned 30.
And then last-last January, Tim lost his job.
And a year passed.
Then, February hit...and then March, and with each passing week, it became painfully obvious that this little plan of ours was slowly becoming non-existent.
To the point that we don't even talk about babies anymore.
And I realize that the thing about babies is that you start to miss someone you've never even met before and then all at once, you have lost something you never even had in the first place.
Which, I'm well aware, is CRAZY.
People are strange animals. We are the only creatures in the world that miss something we've never experienced.
And I'm very aware that if I were my sister, I would be pregnant by now. If I were my mother, I would be toting baby #2.
Who in the world invented that game? It's daunting. Really.
And for heaven's sake, people are rude, ya'll.
Can we please just commit to no longer asking everyone else about their baby-making?
You don't go walking around saying, "Hey, when are you going to finally get that promotion that no one is even sure you are trying for or that you even want?"
or
"Hey, when are you guys finally going to pay down that pesky credit card debt that you have never spoken to us about or that isn't really any of our business?"
or
Never mind, I won't go there. (((something about sex)))
We don't talk about things that people may want, but are ultimately out of their control. Except when it comes to babies. No one "tsk-tsks" because you can't seem to sell your starter home or land that dream job, but put off having a baby and you'll find more naysayers than you can shake a stick at.
I think this is a good general rule. If you absolutely must comment about procreation, do not do so unless you are such a close friend that you have this person's birthday memorized.
I am 100% ok with Baby Talks if you can tell me my birthday.
But don't cheat, cause' I just told you my birthday is next month.
Once, I heard a passing comment that maybe us baby-sitting Lucy would get us "on the ball" and encourage us to have a baby.
To that, I reply...
"Seriously?"
And
"Ouch."
Your words hurt, People! They hurt!
We don't need encouragement. We need a second source of income. Thank you very much.
And the older I get, the more I realize how hurtful those comments can be- what if I had had a miscarriage? What if I was struggling with infertility?
Jerks.
I'm just kidding. No one's a jerk. I just felt like I needed to put an insult there.
It's not really infertility. More like UNfertility.
True?
UN-fertility. Is there such a thing? In this economy...in this housing market... there have got to be thousands of other women who are experiencing this...?
It is a sad & interesting place to be.
We don't have a plan anymore. Plan A did not work out, but we certainly aren't out of letters.
Maybe I'll start to feel relieved. Maybe I'll take up macrame. Maybe we'll get a third dog.
With that being said, today, I am 29 and 334 days old.
Tomorrow, I will be sad.
I will probably cry in the car as I am sometimes prone to do.
Not only out of sadness, but also because of that unrelenting need to surrender.
You've been there before, too?
Next month, we will celebrate.
Love,
H
File this under: Hardest Post Ever
Exactly one month from tomorrow, I will turn 30.
I am, as Sabrina Ward Harrison would say, feeling the feelings of my age.
I'm not saying that I am feeling old. I am grateful. I think complaining about your age on milestone birthdays is completely overdone. It's better than the alternative, right?
Work. Fashion. Hollywood. Money
...?
But like I said, the more I have to lose.
And I realize right now, I am writing an awful lot without actually getting to the point.
And then I posted a dead, cartoon fish.
Forgive me.
///New Paragraph///
I am realizing that life is a collection of Very Small Moments and Important Decisions we hold close to our hearts. Kent Nerburn would call them Blue Moments.
They are the cards we view with our elbows tucked in very tightly. Wrists turned in.
I don't know about you, but I don't tend to talk about These Moments very much. Not because they aren't worthy of mentioning, but perhaps quite the opposite.
They just seem sacred. I guess.
The first time I held Lucy. My first morning in Hawaii with Tim (Yowza). My lone trip to Starbucks the night before our wedding. Et cetera.
But today, I will show you part of my hand. I've got a card, it seems, that is no longer relevant. Like bringing an UNO deck to a game of poker.
In case you didn't know, Tim and I are extremely private about our family planning. It's not something we like to address with other people. It's too much pressure. And it feels weird.
And it's fun you know? Having a secret.
However.
For a long time, we said we were going to start trying to have baby the spring I turned 30.
And then last-last January, Tim lost his job.
And a year passed.
Then, February hit...and then March, and with each passing week, it became painfully obvious that this little plan of ours was slowly becoming non-existent.
To the point that we don't even talk about babies anymore.
And I realize that the thing about babies is that you start to miss someone you've never even met before and then all at once, you have lost something you never even had in the first place.
Which, I'm well aware, is CRAZY.
People are strange animals. We are the only creatures in the world that miss something we've never experienced.
And I'm very aware that if I were my sister, I would be pregnant by now. If I were my mother, I would be toting baby #2.
Who in the world invented that game? It's daunting. Really.
And for heaven's sake, people are rude, ya'll.
Can we please just commit to no longer asking everyone else about their baby-making?
You don't go walking around saying, "Hey, when are you going to finally get that promotion that no one is even sure you are trying for or that you even want?"
or
"Hey, when are you guys finally going to pay down that pesky credit card debt that you have never spoken to us about or that isn't really any of our business?"
or
Never mind, I won't go there. (((something about sex)))
We don't talk about things that people may want, but are ultimately out of their control. Except when it comes to babies. No one "tsk-tsks" because you can't seem to sell your starter home or land that dream job, but put off having a baby and you'll find more naysayers than you can shake a stick at.
I think this is a good general rule. If you absolutely must comment about procreation, do not do so unless you are such a close friend that you have this person's birthday memorized.
I am 100% ok with Baby Talks if you can tell me my birthday.
But don't cheat, cause' I just told you my birthday is next month.
Once, I heard a passing comment that maybe us baby-sitting Lucy would get us "on the ball" and encourage us to have a baby.
To that, I reply...
"Seriously?"
And
"Ouch."
Your words hurt, People! They hurt!
We don't need encouragement. We need a second source of income. Thank you very much.
And the older I get, the more I realize how hurtful those comments can be- what if I had had a miscarriage? What if I was struggling with infertility?
Jerks.
I'm just kidding. No one's a jerk. I just felt like I needed to put an insult there.
It's not really infertility. More like UNfertility.
True?
UN-fertility. Is there such a thing? In this economy...in this housing market... there have got to be thousands of other women who are experiencing this...?
It is a sad & interesting place to be.
We don't have a plan anymore. Plan A did not work out, but we certainly aren't out of letters.
Maybe I'll start to feel relieved. Maybe I'll take up macrame. Maybe we'll get a third dog.
With that being said, today, I am 29 and 334 days old.
Tomorrow, I will be sad.
I will probably cry in the car as I am sometimes prone to do.
Not only out of sadness, but also because of that unrelenting need to surrender.
You've been there before, too?
Next month, we will celebrate.
Love,
H
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Things I Forgot to Tell Tim or Things He Forgot
Today, we were unloading groceries, and the coupons/receipt had fallen to the bottom of the bag. I don't know how it works in your neck of the woods, but Kroger always tries to guess what you might be buying next and prints off coupons accordingly. Hello, coffee creamer & granola bars.
Anyway, it was a coupon for baby formula.
To which Tim replies, "Why do they always give us coupons for baby items...we never buy that stuff."
And then I remembered the Baby Box.
I know I told him. I know I did. HE must have forgotten.
I didn't breathe a word, but in my head, I laughed like this...because it was funny.*
Also, I was poking around in our backyard and I found this little beauty!
That, I really did forget to tell him, but not on purpose. Cause hello, when you love someone, you tell them all about your Secret Mystery Cabbage Brussel Sprout Plant that has mysteriously re-sprouted out of nowhere in the middle of March.
Cause them's the rules.
Lastly, I have been sick. Like missing work sick. On a fun scale of 0 to 10, it has been a -4. I missed church b/c of it and I can't REMEMBER the last time I took a sick day from church.
It was very weird and I hope everything's on the up and up.
What's your secret/something you forgot to tell someone.
Do tell.
Also, what kind of plant is that?
Cast your vote.
Love & I'm voting for cabbage,
H.
*I don't really ever keep secrets from Tim. The Baby Box is in his closet in plain view. And I know I told him. I know I did.
Anyway, it was a coupon for baby formula.
To which Tim replies, "Why do they always give us coupons for baby items...we never buy that stuff."
And then I remembered the Baby Box.
I know I told him. I know I did. HE must have forgotten.
I didn't breathe a word, but in my head, I laughed like this...because it was funny.*
Also, I was poking around in our backyard and I found this little beauty!
Cause them's the rules.
Lastly, I have been sick. Like missing work sick. On a fun scale of 0 to 10, it has been a -4. I missed church b/c of it and I can't REMEMBER the last time I took a sick day from church.
It was very weird and I hope everything's on the up and up.
What's your secret/something you forgot to tell someone.
Do tell.
Also, what kind of plant is that?
Cast your vote.
Love & I'm voting for cabbage,
H.
*I don't really ever keep secrets from Tim. The Baby Box is in his closet in plain view. And I know I told him. I know I did.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Work it
We've been doing a lot of construction work on the ole' blog here. Holy html code, Batman! It's like learning a whole new language. Anyway, we're still click-clacking away (yes, I'm aware the header is off center)...If you are coming from Google Reader, Come say hi.
I've added photos to the left side bar and a new Etsy button. More to come!
Love,
H.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
This is our new favorite "Quick Meal."
Egg rolls.
Pot Stickers.
Wanchai Ferry's Orange Chicken.
Panda NOT included. I know. I was bummed, too.
Dear Future Maybe Daughter,
Marry someone who loves (insert favorite ethnic food here) just as much as you do.
You won't regret it.
Love & more potstickers,
H.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
We can help.
On Friday, a series of tornadoes came through Southwest Ohio. A small village about 15 miles south of where I grew up was severely damaged. Many homes have been lost.
Our church served as a "headquarters" of sorts where residents could drop off items to donate to the victims over the weekend.
I'm sad and thankful and proud of my community all at once.
People are so kind. The world is still beautiful and interesting.
When bad things happen, it often seems people on the outskirts jump at the chance to be weepy and needy and overly dramatic when THEY weren't the ones directly effected. Suddenly, everyone's neighbors' best friend's cousin's dog was involved and everybody wants the credit and attention for it.
This is especially true on Facebook.
While I don't want to send that message.
I don't personally know anyone who was affected.
I just want to encourage people to reach out.
Here are some relevant links.
To those whom much has been given, much is expected. Luke 12:48
Love & Humility,
H.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Tears of Joy
There is lots to catch up on. Lots & Lots.
1. I think if we ever have a son, I am going to dress him like Dr. Sheldon Cooper for as long as he will allow.
3. This is too adorably cute. It has been my "Happy Thought" for a few days now.
4. I almost lost count!
I have been working on my "TURNING 30" Playlist! I'm super excited about it! I.just.love.music. and I love marking the years with my own little tunes. What suggestions do you have? So far it's a good mix of inspirational, reverent, and fun. Just how I like it.
Also, on a scale of 1-10, I love this picture an 11.
Tim and I had a good conversation in the car tonight. It was so very good, but it was hard. I think we are both feeling Just a Little Blue.
Meh. So, I fee it needs to be said.
We believe God loves us. We were bought with a price. He has given people in exchange for us. Nations in exchange for our lives. (Is. 43:1)
We believe there are Good Things to Come.
All Good Things.
And now I'm all teary-eyed.
Tears of joy.
This is what happens when I listen to this chunk of my playlist. Here's a sneak peek.
And yes. There is a song from Sister Wives. Don't hate.
Love,
H.
1. I think if we ever have a son, I am going to dress him like Dr. Sheldon Cooper for as long as he will allow.
Onesies:
yellow robot (baby.com)
2. Is there anything else quite as calming as a well-organized tupperware drawer?
I didn't think so.
3. This is too adorably cute. It has been my "Happy Thought" for a few days now.
source unknown
4. I almost lost count!
I have been working on my "TURNING 30" Playlist! I'm super excited about it! I.just.love.music. and I love marking the years with my own little tunes. What suggestions do you have? So far it's a good mix of inspirational, reverent, and fun. Just how I like it.
Also, on a scale of 1-10, I love this picture an 11.
Tim and I had a good conversation in the car tonight. It was so very good, but it was hard. I think we are both feeling Just a Little Blue.
Meh. So, I fee it needs to be said.
We believe God loves us. We were bought with a price. He has given people in exchange for us. Nations in exchange for our lives. (Is. 43:1)
We believe there are Good Things to Come.
All Good Things.
And now I'm all teary-eyed.
Tears of joy.
This is what happens when I listen to this chunk of my playlist. Here's a sneak peek.
And yes. There is a song from Sister Wives. Don't hate.
Love,
H.
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