This is what I've been sitting on lately

     The American Food industry has taken us hostage.  It has bombarded our arteries and kidnapped our loved ones long before their time. It has bullied it's way into our budgets, our pantries, and our belt loops.  It has reared it's ugly head for far too long.

My name is Holly Bierly Young, and I'm fighting back.

Who else is with me?

Love and being kind of overly dramatic,
H.

OR

Love and I promise I went easy on the cheese,
H.

The State of The Union or...my waistline

     About five years ago, there was a period of time where I quit taking communion.  I quit taking communion because the idea of eating something in between meals just didn't appeal to me.  (For those of you playing at home, we are talking about a shot glass of grape juice and an oyster cracker, not a two aisle buffet line).  

I was crazy.  It's ok. You can think that.  It's true.  

     I was obsessive about my waistline.  I had lost 50 pounds over the course of a few years. I was about a size ten and I'd had to beg and scratch and starve and claw my way there.  I will never be a size 2.  It's ok.  I was finally able to buy jeans at those teeny-bopper-techno-music-playing-places at the mall and I relished that fact probably more than I had celebrated anything else in my entire life. 

I was a hungry, grouchy woman in a teenager's jeans.  

And then I met Tim, and all that didn't seem quite as important.  

     And then I gained weight.  I'm not going to tell you why or how or when or how much has happened, because that's not what this post is about, but the truth is, it's here. Not all of it again, but some.  Too much.  

So, I joined Weight Watchers.  

     And I obsessed over the scale again.  The thing is, when you used to worship the scale the way I used to worship the scale and then you sort of get over it, you know, immediately when you are starting to get a little nutty again.  

     I remember walking away from Weight Watchers and crying in the car because I had gained . 2 pounds or something ridiculous like that.  Point two pounds.  I remember hunkering in the car because I had hit a red light, and I didn't want anyone to see me crying.  

     And then I thought about God and how much he loves me and I knew, without a doubt, that He probably wasn't sure all this was such a Good Idea anymore.  

You see, we were not created to hunker.  Did you know that?  

It's true. 

So, I quit Weight Watchers.*  

     With Tim out of work and me coming home in tears, $40 a month wasn't doing us any favors.  

So where does that leave us now?  

     Well, I joined Sparkpeople and I set a goal to exercise 90 minutes a week.  We borrowed Just Dance for the wii and I'm researching other ways to exercise at home.  I am 29 days in, and I'm loving it.  Really.  

     I haven't gotten on the scale all month.  I'm just not *there* yet.  Sparkpeople is great because it teaches you to use the scale as a tool.  I'm still learning, and I'm waiting because while I may be acing the quiz, I'm not 100% convinced that I'm ready to pass the test.  

I don't know if I'm "losing" but I do know that I feel good.  Like, jump around the house good.  Like, "these pants fit a little better now"  good.  

     As I sit here in my bathrobe, listening to Tim sing to the dog** and watching the winter sunshine, I can't help but think about my friend (I wish), Meg.  You see, Meg is someone who has been there. Meg is getting it.  She gives me hope, and I can't get enough of her blog.  For more about her journey, click on the FED tab on the left of her page.  

Gush, Gush, Gush.  President of The I Heart Meg Fee Fan Club.  Lifetime Member.   

Enough said. 

     So, that's where we are.  It's funny because, I have tried, about a thousand times, to write the Why I Quit Weight Watchers post...dozens and dozens of half-written drafts in my blogger dash, but just couldn't hit submit.  

Well, today is the day I guess.  40 minutes or so and one cup of coffee later.  Here we are. No editing.  

Bah. This stuff is so hard.  

Anything is possible.  

Love, a brisk walk, and more Meg Fees, 

H.  

* For the record, I think WW can be a great program.  It works for a lot of people. The women there were very gracious.  While I learned a great deal, the meetings just weren't for me.  If you'd like to know more about why I quit or why I feel it wasn't working, please feel free to email me at holls_y@hotmail.com   OR if you are on a journey of your own and just need a little encouragement, throw me a line.  I am an excellent on-line cheerleader, however my real-life toe touch leaves much to be desired.  

** In case you were wondering, here is part of Tim's song. "I've got a super good Scarlett-dog on my lap...ooohh ooohh ooohhh"  I think it's a hit.  

The One Where I Almost Forget About Number Three

     Well, I will tell you that lately, I am tempted to feel oh-so-discouraged.  I feel like I've had to face a lot of hard conversations lately.  Yikes. They are hard, but they are good.  I started to write a long-winded dittitude (that's like a 'ditty' but longer), about some worrisome things* but instead, I decided on this.  


(((clears throat)))


Number One:  I want to lose weight.  I need to lose weight.   So there's that.  


Number Two:  I want to stay home with our kiddos.  Maybe that means working part-time.  Maybe that means becoming a work-at-home mom.  I don't know, but all's I know is that I wants it.  I wants it real' bad.**  


Number Three:  Now that I have your attention, I honestly can't remember this one.  
Boy is my face red. ***


Well, anyway- I want Numbers One & Two someday, and they seem mighty important. 


With that being said, I was tempted to give into those nasty ole' glumps, but at last- I have successfully chased them away.  


I have successfully chased them away because to tell you the truth- I am not giving up.  


I'm not.  I can't. I won't.  


Also, I kicked them to the curb while giving them a look that says, "I mean business."  Those suckers were cryin' for their mamas in no time.  


Scary, right?  

Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

Are the glumps at your doorstep?  Send them my way, and I'll show em' who's boss.

Love and more glump-wrangling if you need it,
H.

*I was going to capitalize Worrisome Things, but then realized that our worries aren't really worth a capital letter now, are they?  So, tiny-lettered- worries they shall stay!

**I hope you think using bad grammar and made-up words is as amusing as I do.  If not, then my apologies for sure.

*** A BOOK!  I want to write a book!  I am 10,000 words in and pretty darn excited! How could I forget?

Weight Loss Adventures

As promised, now is the time to talk about weight loss. I can actually type that sentence with a smile on my face.  :)  See?  The holidays were ((ahem)) rough, and I gained 2 pounds.  At my next weigh-in, (last Thursday) I had lost 2.4 so I am STILL officially lighter than when I started going to WW Meetings. (that's the goal right?)  


Overall, I have lost about 12 pounds since early November (I started changing my eating BEFORE actually weighing in-attending the meetings).  Even though this is not earth-shattering, I feel amazing.  For the first time in a LONG time, I don't "just" feel like, "I can do this."  I feel like I AM DOING THIS. :)  Tonight, I have a lot of hope.  Maybe we can get second chances.  Maybe we can change our fate or our destiny or whatever ((insert cheesy, inspirational, classical music here)).


I thought about writing a short list of things I've been "living on" lately in case some of you are interested in mixing up your routine or are looking for some healthier options.  


My only advice for some of the following food items is to be brave. :)  Try it. You might like it.  


Reduced-fat peanut butter
eggs-eggs and more eggs!  
low-fat sour cream
"healthy harvest" applesauce cups (no sugar added)
Fiber Plus applesauce cups (try cran-rasperry!)
celery
peanut-butter-banana smoothies w/ splenda (I can give you the recipe if interested) 
potato bread (Aunt Millie's...higher fiber...fewer calories....all the benefits of wheat bread, all the yummy goodness of white bread!)  
mini packs of m-n-m's (only one...you can only eat one!)  :)  
1/2 slices of Kraft singles (yummy melted over eggs in the a.m.)
bananas
CLEMENTINES! CLEMENTINES! CLEMENTINES!  These are so yummy and delicious...I would seriously classify them as a "dessert."  Super easy to peel, seedless and not messy at all.  I peel them at stoplights and eat them in the car
"Lite" string cheese (again, super yummy)
"I can't believe it's not butter" spray (0 fat, Tim loves it...you know it is good if it is 'healthy' and my husband loves it!)  :)  


Surprisingly, I find I am more satisfied with what I am eating.  Saturday afternoon, we were being lazy about our lunch options, and I made a super-easy, super delicious egg dish with tomatoes, spinach and a little bit of cheese (also added spray butter and seasonings).  Before, I probably would have just settled for a "hodge podge" of snacks over a few hours...chips...cereal...peanut butter and jelly, etc.  


I am also surprised by the fact that I am RARELY hungry.  WW has taught me that when you are hungry, you should eat.  I used to eat around 11 a.m., get home late and make dinner around 7 or 8.  That's about 6-9 hours without eating...that is WAY TOO LONG.  Now, I have learned to prepare for my hungry times.  Instead of "packing a lunch," I pack for ALL DAY.  I leave work prepared for a mid-morning snack (something quick/subtle/easy usually fruit while my kids are working or reading around 9:30 or 10), lunch, and an after school snack (cereal bar, pre-packaged peanut butter and crackers, etc.)  I eat that in the car or at my desk around 4 or 5... after a big bottle of water and my snacky-snack, I am ready to keep on truckin' till dinner...and I don't come home ready to eat anything that's not nailed down. 


YOU DON'T HAVE TO STARVE, in fact, if you are, you are doing something wrong, my friend.  


Example Given:  


Tomorrow, for lunch, I am taking a salad:  spinach/iceberg lettuce mix w/ mixed nuts, blue cheese crumbles, mandarin oranges, strawberries, and lite rasp. vinagrette dressing (fruit on salad used to freak me out, but this is fantastic.  It is copied from O'Charley's California Chix. Salad recipe)  1/2 peanut butter sandwich, carrot sticks w/ fat-free dip, and some kind of fruit or cereal bar.  


Tomorrow night, I have P/T conferences so I am looking forward to eating something healthy and scrumptous from Subway.  


Breakfast is still up in the air, probably toast/coffee in the car  around 6:30 and fruit around 9am.  


In other news, we were napping today and Tim said, and I quote, "You feel skinny."  

I feel skinny? Why not. Let's just go with it.  :)  I am also surprised by my level of energy.  I forgot how it felt, and yowza, it feels good.  Also, there are bones and tendons in my neck?  Did you know hiding under all that softness there was a collar bone down there?  Well, its there in all it's glory, and it's a tad bit sexy if I don't say so myself. 


So, let's re-cap.  Eating healthy can be delicious. You are NOT supposed to spend the majority of your day mimicking a Hungry Hungry Hippo.  You can change your destiny.  Tomorrow is Monday. Think of something you have always wanted to do and take a baby step by the end of this week.  Let me know how it goes.  


Sweet Readers, if a sugar addict can lose 50 pounds, spend a year relapsing, lose 12 pounds and then write an entire blog about how she thinks she could make fruit a dessert then surely YOU can accomplish the impossible. :)  

My best to you...now go buy some butter spray and clementines!  


Love, 
H.