Tonight, I am going to tell you about how I am a terrible person. That's right. I have a truckload of school work to do, but tonight- The Blog wins. When you give your life over to something for 8 hours a day, it is extremely difficult to continue to do so in the evenings. I hope that doesn't make me bad at my job.
Last weekend, we went to Nashville. All in all, we had such a good time. However, if we were to write it all down on paper, it would look as if it was terrible.
I was weird. I was high-maintenence. I was one of those girls.
You know the ones. The ones who pout when no one picks their favorite restaurant or when you forget to compliment their new hair.
Hard to believe, right?
(((This is the part where you say, "Yes. It is hard to believe someone as sweet and adorable as you could be one of those girls. Just to let you know))).
So, back to Nashville. I was weird and grumpy. Saturday Night, I had a dream about The Accident. I haven't had one of those dreams in years and to tell you the truth, it left me feeling a bit glumpy. (Glumpy?) Grumpy with an "l"? Sounds good to me.
I just couldn't shake it.
So instead of fessing up and talking to Tim about his tone of voice and his tendency to parent me and my hurt feelings and this terrible dream, I just absolutely shut down and then came The Glumps.
We had a long talk in the car. We always have our good, long talks in the car. The truth is, Tim gave me the most heartfelt apology. That man gives amazing apologies. He used my name. My name. Not Holls or Baby or Hon. He used my name, and it almost humbled me to tears.
What can I say? "I'm sorry is oh-so-hard."
Apparently, not for him.
Do I know how to pick em' or what?
So we woke up and something happened that was almost like magic...or Jesus...or both. We jumped in the shower together (you know you do it, too) and used silly voices and sang Queen songs.
I realize that I am a terrible person. The truth is, marriage is hard. It is hard. It is hard because you have to be Not A Jerk. You have to be humble and selfless and willing to give up control.
When you both are acting like Not A Jerk then it's magical. More often than not, one of you IS being ridiculous and the other one has to spend a lot of time picking up the other one's slack.
And when you are BOTH misbehaving? Well, then you might as well just go kick rocks and forget it for the entire rest of the day.
So, my answer is Jesus. Always. Always. Jesus.
There were times this weekend when the only prayer I could muster was God's name over and over and over again.
A cord of three strands is not easily broken.
So, I say all this at the risk of breaking my own rules (and did not ask Tim's permission, sorry, My Love) because when you fill your blog with pictures like this
it is easy to believe that we are adorable and perfect and that we wear matching pajamas and never get irritated when the other one runs late. But the truth is...sometimes we are jerks. Sometimes I have to say I'm sorry and stop shutting down and actually HELP him for crying out loud. Sometimes the opposite is true.
So, today is Monday. If you feel terrible too, then chin up. Here's to us trying to NOT be so terrible together.
Tonight, I took Scarlett out for a bike ride and our neighborhood smelled like an open fire and clean laundry. It was wonderfully intriguing. That's gotta be a good sign, right?
Someone who is sometimes a jerk