My book is so good. That's right. It.is.so.good. It is the kind of book that makes me lose all my social skills- to the point where I am adding those five out-of-the-blue-words to any conversation I can squeeze them into.
Tim: (cleaning out the DVR) This episode of How I Met Your Mother...is it old? Is it a re-run?
Me: Yes. Yes it is. Tim...
Tim: What, baby?
Me: My book is so good.
Tim: Good baby. Good. I'm glad your book is so good. What about Property Ladder...? Is this new...?
I'm not going to give you the summary. You can go here for that. Oh yea, and watch the video. Based on his picture in the "About the Author" section, I expected JSF to be boring and pretentious, but he's not. In the video, he is simply delightful.
Just read it.
It is a sad book, but it is necessary if that makes any sense at all. Maybe someday, you will know what I mean. I think I mean it is sad in a way that is necessary because it is honest. It is true.
On the way home in the car, we had A Talk. There was yelling, but not "I am so mad at you" yelling. It was DON'T YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?!?!? kind of yelling.
I have come to the conclusion that Tim and I are both very passionate. Which I like.
I told him this car ride was like a marathon. Some runners need a marathon a year- a race in which they think they are going to throw up or pass out or die or maybe all of the above, but that is what keeps them motivated to run the rest of the year.
Our talk? It was kind of like that.
At one point, I looked down at my open book and glanced down to find this quote from Oskar, the main character.
I tried the key in all all of the doors, even though he said he didn't recognize it. It's not that I didn't trust him, because I did. It's that at the end of my search I wanted to be able to say: I don't know how I could have tried harder. Oskar Schell Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, Johnathan Safran Foer
And a light went on.
If I were writing a letter to someone else on their wedding day- someone who is asking for advice, I would say to them- marriage is about trying harder. Marriage is about always trying harder.
And I thought about Tim and I and the claw marks we had left on our marriage, not out of malice or spite but out of simply trying to hold on- a cat who has almost missed the next window sill.
And then I felt better.
Read the book. It has nothing and everything to do with marriage.
Love and probably more claw marks,